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the duke's theme - thomas sanders lyrics

[duke]
adam and eve bought knowledge for the small price of a little sin. they also lost eternal life, but what’s fruit without the pits?

[logan, spoken]
apples don’t have pits

[duke]
i am the duke and it’s high time that i dropped in
and since you haven’t puked yet, we’ll know they’re wrong when they call you sick
it’s unicorn horns and dragon tails, roman’s dull creativity
if you want the spectrum a to z, then you’ll need a little help from me
from unicorn p-rn to rats impaled, i give these thoughts generously
if you really want to challenge your viewership then you need to stop limiting me

[thomas]
what in the -plate smash- have i been drinking?

[logan, spoken]
it’s fine

[patton]
it isn’t you these thoughts you’re thinking!

[virgil]
alright! you need to stop this guy from singing

[duke, spoken]
i love how hard you try. it’s so cute, let’s resume, sure!
[sung]
people don’t like me much, thomas
but that’s only just cause i’m honest
good and bad is all made-up nonsense

[roman, spoken]
bro i’m gonna whip your b-tt!

[duke, spoken]
do you promise? thomas
speaking of honesty, recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge
[sung]
he said “you’re wanting to be more honest, and be direct dealing with your issues
no longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you.”
neat!

you wanna face facts, i’ve got one. your late night thoughts get pretty sick dude!
if you shared those musings with your friends, i doubt they would forgive you
even though everybody sins, everybody dies
why deny yourself knowledge say knowledge of yourself?

you don’t need to feel ashamed with your dear old duke
you need not feign decency
do you see this house on fire? i see it too
cause you’ve got a fiend in me!

so clap your feet and stomp your hands
and dance off your booty cheeks!
you can then bet your bottom i’ll still be around
when all your loved ones leave! -smack-

imagine with me!
licking the blowhole of a dolphin
your best bud trapped inside a coffin
your grandma choking on a lozenge
your pet dog stuffed into a sausage
these sorts of things are only thought in
the mind of a man whose soul is truly rotten
so let all your hopes of heaven be forgotten
cause your head’s not in the gutter, pal
it’s in h-ll! (h-ll x2)
the kind of mind you’d only find in h-ll

- thomas sanders lyrics

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