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control myself - this vial pain lyrics

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i wanna be so tiny
like the girls in magezines
knowing victoria’s secret, but not caring
a thigh gap’s a thigh gap
force fed
not allowed to have control
so, i started making myself sick more than before
was only eleven
but shaken by reality

oh, i wanna be so tiny
control myself. what else am i ment to do?
four stone seven pounds
a sight of depsaration, it seems
so, i’ll have a lexapro for breakfast
just sit there at lunch
i don’t skip dinner, it’ll go in the toilet
i know i can just purge and get thinner
but i wanna control myself
for all the time i’ve binged and purged

diagnosed with bulimia
but parents somehow don’t know
my self*control is great
i’ll still eat on the weekends. but spend the rest of the time in the washroom

oh, i wanna be so tiny
control myself. what else am i ment to do?
four stone seven pounds
a sight of depsaration, it seems

i’ll face my biggest fears

somehow one sixty when the school year ended
now one fourty
laughing in the shadows
werid how i’ve been average weight, under weight, severly underweight, and overweight
but i’ll always see myself as obese

i know you say i’m fine
but beauty is subjective
my self*control is sh*t
and that, by far, is ugliest of all
oh, i wanna be so tiny
control myself. what else am i ment to do?
four stone seven pounds
a sight of depsaration, it seems

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