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it's so counterproductive - this summer band lyrics

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[verse 1]
lately
i’ve been shaking
please just empty my head
all my thoughts could be yours
for the taking
and i’m pacing
throughout the bas*m*nt
telling myself just don’t slip back
into a phase of disassociation
and lately
i’ve been facing
all of my fears like
replacing the struts on my car
when they’re breaking

[bridge}
or finding some peace in the fact
that i still have an illness
i’m so godd*mn exhausted
these pills just don’t give me fulfillment
“don’t you know that can k!ll you?”
of course, why do you seem surprised?
it’s so counterproductive
i’ll sleep for thе rest of my life
{chorus 1]
don’t wait
on me
to try

[verse 2]
shakе me
from these phases
you say that you love me but i know that
you’re looking for a replacement
i’m still faking
a smile and wasting
all of my time in my bedroom while
you go and try to erase me
and daily
i’ve been failing
all of my self*expectations
just waiting to
slip off the railing

[bridge 2]
i’m still making excuses
while watching my love fade away
i’m two steps from the doorway
but then i see the pain in your face
clutching onto a flatline
pretending i think we’ll survive
it’s so counterproductive
why can’t i just leave you behind?
[chorus 2]
don’t wait
on me
to try
to try
and lately
i’ve been chasing
all of my dreams but i feel like i’ll
never get anything right
and lately
i can’t stop changing
adapting to these new surroundings
i’m having the time of my life
and lately
my head needs saving
but i won’t ever get better
i’ll sleep through the rest of the night

[outro}
and lately
i’ve been facing
my old self in the mirror
pretending my heart isn’t breaking

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