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i just want to sell out my funeral - the wonder years lyrics

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[verse 1]
clear the apartment
i plan on collapsing and i could have sworn i heard a car door slam
i’m stuck at the corner of grinding t–th and stomach acid
all alone under a soft rain and streetlamp
i spent my life weighed down by a stone heart
drowning in irony and settling for anything
somewhere down the line all the wiring went faulty
i’m scared sh-tless of failure and i’m staring out at where i wanna be

[chorus]
i just want to sell out my funeral
i just want to be enough for everyone
i just want to sell out my funeral
know that i fought until the lights were gone

[verse 2]
i’m walking through harbors and churchyards
i felt the snow crack under my feet
i’ll stay thankful for mild winters, for every shot i got at anything
i’ll blame the way that i was brought up or the flaws that i was born with
or the mistakes that i’ve made
they’re all just f-cking excuses
so bury me in the memories of my friends and family
i just need to know that they were proud of me

[chorus]
i just want to sell out my funeral
i just want to be enough for everyone
i just want to sell out my funeral
know that i fought until the lights were gone

[verse 3]
and oh, we all wanna know
where’d the american dream go?
did you give up and go home?
am i here alone?
and oh, when the credits roll
i’ll watch as the screen glows
the moments when i choked, all the fears that i’ve outgrown
at least i hope so

[a raindance in traffic interpolation]
i was just happy to be a contender
i was just aching for anything
and i used to have such steady hands
but now i can’t keep them from shaking

[there, there interpolation]
oh i’m sorry i…
i’m sorry i don’t laugh at the right times
is this what it feels like with my wings clipped?
i’m awkward and nervous
i’m awkward and nervous
i’m awkward and nervous
i’m awkward and nervous
i’m awkward and nervous

[p-ssing through a screen door interpolation]
but i was kind of hoping you’d stay
i was kind of hoping you’d stay
i was kind of hoping you’d stay
i need you to stay
oh, god, could you stay?
i need you to stay
i need you to stay
i need you

[dismantling summer interpolation]
if i’m in an airport and you’re in a hospital bed
well then, what kind of man does that make me?
if i’m in an airport and you’re in a hospital bed
well then, what kind of man does that make me?
if i’m in an airport, if i’m in an airport
what kind of man does that make me?
what kind of man does that make me?
what kind of man does that make me?

[the devil in my bloodstream/cul-de-sacs/chaser interpolation]
i know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me
i know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me
i know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me
(if you walked me home, there’s no going home again
if you walked me home, there’s no going home again)

[teenage parents interpolation over last verse]
when all we had were hand me-downs
all we had were hand me-downs
all we had were hand me-downs
all we had was good will

[the devil in my bloodstream interpolation/verse 4]
two blackbirds on a highway sign
are laughing at me here with my wings clipped
i’m staring up at the sky
but the bombs keep f-cking falling
there’s no devil on my shoulder
he’s got a rocking chair on my front porch
but i won’t let him in
no, i won’t let him in

[verse 5]
’cause i’m sick of seeing ghosts
and i know how it’s all gonna end
there’s no triumph waiting
there’s no sunset to ride off in
we all want to be great men
and there’s nothing romantic about it
i just want to know that i did all i could with what i was given

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