the star wars recap song - the warp zone (youtube) lyrics
*intro*
star wars has returned
to resume it’s storyline
between the last film and now
well, it’s been a long, long time
if you’ve forgotten anything
we’ll remind you now
in a very detailed recap
of how it all went down
*verse 1*
escape pod to tatooine
jawas, sentient machines
young skywalker
sunset scene
r2 and sand people scream
obi wan in long, dark robes
must repair c*3p0
“obi wan you’re my only hope”
“uncle owen! aunt*” ooh, nope!
mos eisley
lots of weirdos
not the droids as far as we know
han shoots first
bye bye greedo
“chewie, jump up to lightspeed go!”
alderaan to smithereens
“that’s no moon”
tractor beam
dress up as the other team
to save the captured future queen
dodging blasters
trash compactor
quote off between duelling actors
wayward student slays his master
must escape but must go faster
tie fighters, hot pursuit
“don’t get c*cky kid, just shoot!”
yavin four (iv)
prep the troops
“may the force be with you, luke”
plus red 10, 3, 6, et al
torpedoes miss
computer’s fault
use the force now luke don’t stall!
vader! falcon! phew! close call
death star goes kablooey!
everyone get out there zoomy
medals for their royal duty
han and luke but eh, not chewie
*chorus*
star wars (x2)
this is everything that happens in…
star wars (x2)
*verse 2*
ice planet, wampa cave
obi wan beyond the grave
solo in the blizzard, brave
tauntaun guts
luke is saved!
back to base of frozen water
“nerf herder”
kiss that’s awkward
star destroyers, giant walkers
lots and lots of rebels slaughtered
asteroids!
take a breather
rawr! enormous phallic creature!
to dagobah, luke!
where you’ll meet your
ancient muppet jedi teacher
physical and mental training
vader vision
yoda’s phrasing
“do or do not”
x*wing raising
whoop! gotta go!
friends need saving
cloud city, wariness
once more 3p0’s a mess
darth teams up with boba fett
as the world’s worst dinner guests
luke is on his way, although
carbonite for poor han solo
altered deal, dammit lando!
awesome kiss!
“i love you”
“i know”
*build*up*
luke and vader, this is it
epic battle, trading hits
sabers clash, pop and fizz
nothing is as cool as this!
vader cuts him at the wrist
high above an endless pit
dark side pitches, luke resists
“i am your father”
holy sh*t!!!
*chorus*
star wars (x2)
this is everything that happens in…
star wars (x2)
*verse 3*
jabba’s palace, next vendetta
chewie captured, plan develops
leia’s ‘bounty hunter’ getup
unfreeze han, but it’s a setup!
luke shows up in tatooine*y
leia’s super hot bikini
rancor fight
that bikini
sarlacc pit
dat bikini…
walk the plank
but the plan is set
green lightsaber catch, no sweat!
jabba grossly choked to death
the same is true for boba fett
to dagobah luke retreats
master yoda dies in peace
ken0bi paints a family tree
remember that one kissing scene?
death star almost good to go
the emperor now joins the show
endor is more frightening though
with teddy bears! with bows and arrows!
luke gets caught, confronts his dad
come with me, you’re not all bad
rebels move in to attack
the death star, but oops… it’s a trap!
one more saber fight’s a given
vader’s hand cut, symbolism!!!
lightning fingers, indecision
vader toss, and all’s forgiven!
bonding quick before it blows
remove the helmet… gross
endor dancing, happy ghosts
and that is how the story goes!
*ending changed chorus*
star wars (x2)
that was everything that happened in…
star wars (x2)
there were only three instalments of
star wars (x2)
don’t look any further into it
star wars (x2)
star wars!!!
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