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new me - the two princes cast lyrics

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[sir joan]
(spoken)
oh no, do not sing!

[percy jr.]
(sung)
old me

[joan]
ugh!

[percy]
was cruel to my servants
new me
is just cruel to, like, half!

old me
would cackle with menace
new me
hahaha, less evil laugh!

new me
is a different guy
new me
is as pleasant as pie!
and if old me knew new me
he’d want new me to die

[joan]
(spoken)
he’s not the only one

[percy]
(sung)
old me
took revenge on my haters
new me
has a different banter

old me
used to walk out on waiters
new me
tips at least two percent

new me
is quick with a joke
new me
is a lovable bloke!

and if old me knew new me
he’d want new me to croak
[joan]
(spoken)
percy, i said no*

[percy]
(sung)
look, i get it
why would you give a chance
to little old me?
by which i mean, new me!

you’ll regret it!
in this circumstance
that’s not a threat!
something a friend would say
like, hey!
how’s your day?

new me
is different because he feels badly
for the old him he was
new me
has changed through and through
he would not do the things that the old him would do

so let me join ya, haha
and ride in the action
if i were the old me
i’d demand satisfaction!
but i won’t
’cause i know that is wrong
and old me would never say this in song!

new me likes old you
and he’d like to come along
eh? eh? eh? eh?

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