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i pooped my pants (in a bowling alley) - the toilet bowl cleaners lyrics

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oh man, i p**ped my pants again
right in front of my family and my friends
it’s not that i have a problem with controlling
it’s just that we were here in this alley bowling

and i was in the middle of the best round of my life
i wanted to impress my family and my wife
we’ve been having troubles

it started when i scored my second strike
i was in just the kinda rhythm that i like
that’s when my bowels told me it was time to get moving
i asked them to slow down, don’t mess this up, i’m grooving

i kept getting strikes and i thought i was gonna make it
but eventually, my bowels decided that they couldn’t take it
i stood there with my cheeks in a tight, tight squeeze
but that wasn’t enough ’cause the p**p started dripping past my knees

it landed all over the alley floor
the owner came and told me that i couldn’t bowl there anymore
i begged him saying, “i’m just two strikes away from a perfect game”
he didn’t care at all about that, he just called me a nasty name

and of course, now my wife wants to go through with the divorce after all
i guess next time i’m gonna answer when nature calls

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