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jason - the thought lyrics

[verse]
i’d like to think that he would say “i’m sorry”
but the inanimate cannot speak
daydreaming of a sorry for the starry-eyed safari
into a jungle of tweak
heroin is no heroine, villain to the lifespan
cripple those who stand, and cripple me
trickle-down theory, but emotionally that the
favorite mabie kicked the can
picked this man, man, from the family
only relative relatively brave enough to be family
never trading love for majority approval
chosen mentor during my removal
ostracized was i, by the death of my lies
but now your dead eyes haunt my blue skies
i tried to warn you of relapse, steer you back
from the cliff, tracks collapsed, out of grasp
into a coma’s lapse, universal gasp
at your casket, the clutch-est cousin lacked
now i’m wracked, with sorrow, hollow
the usual intoxicant’s sleep i borrow

[refrain]
gotta get my z’s somehow
so i’m just blowing on them weed clouds

[verse]
i wept like a child from the seventh aisle
while your miles-cleaner sister spoke yesterday
told us of the turtle of clay, feel of bile
rising up my esophagus, your sarcophagus paid
tribute to inhibit tunes with exhibit you
limit my rigid self-control, with images shown of you
and kasey, who like i, boo-hood, wish you
could see how much i’ve grown
i finally finished ’tis the season, but guess what?
i had to dedicate it to you, open and shut
you choked on your vomit, you d-mned ironic sonnet
now i’m smoking bubonic chronic, sipping tonics
to frolic in non-solids when all this makes me need to vomit
come and gone… halley’s comet
holistic denial of egotistic beguile when i’m broken
for sanity, i’m hoping, in the meantime toking
tolkien’s saga, lady gaga compared to your mana
not literal magic but your energetic support
i’d k!ll myself tonight to see you manana
but i still need to drop the album, of course, of course

[verse]
i don’t know if your parents’ faith is true
whether there’s another life after this
i doubt it, think exhalation is the last thing you do
but i’ll grant them belief, admit my guilty wish
listen up cousin, from the heavens above
i’ll forever return your unconditional love
unconditional shove, if we ever meet again
for causing me to lose my only blood-related friend
d-mn you, but somehow, blessed be
i confessed the guessed divinity denies anti-theist me
less is more, poor is free, is mourning permanent
cause it’s just a couple months now since grandpa went
and a couple months hence then, amelia fled
the demons i introduced her to, wrists ran rivers of red
i didn’t even get a chance to tell you that i’m dying
to hear your voice calmly state to “stop crying”
but i can’t stop, or i won’t, i can’t tell any longer
still loathe cops, still rely on my bong for
emotional stability, when my will to live wanders
you got my smiles laundered, your p-ssing, nothing feels wronger

[bridge]
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
staring at the blue yonder, asking why?
why’d you have to go and die?

[verse]
what pain pangs the loudest anguish
is your actions’ language languished suicidal
no one’s willing to admit it at the banquet
behind the church just two years post-bridal
idle unemployment, but the ablest mind
one of a kind, stable, compared to mines
but as time after time, the best of us are stolen early
you were the next in line
i chime in with these rhymes beg for the effect of wine
leg or arm offerings for you lifted from your pine
you were gifted, we all knew it, but you done screwed it
screwed the pooch, hit the hooch, went too loose, sh-t
and left behind for your cousin, kind though you were to him
a desire to crawl out from beneath this skin
i f-cking hate you for your addiction
but i love you cause you’re still the only mabie who listened
it’s no f-cking fair, only you were there
now it’s only i that for i cares
jason, i’m just asking why?
why’d you have to go?
why’d you have to go and die?

- the thought lyrics

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