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no big sizes - the shirehorses lyrics

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mark:
an *rs* that’s
filled up like a landfill
a gob that slowly
k!lls him
he boozes with each meal

lard:
you look
so fat and bloated
scoffin’ things
sugar*coated
you look
like you’re up the duff

mark:
i’ll take
the diet life
no milkshakes
and nothin’ fried
no keemon???? ends
and no meat pieses
our worst nightmare
and no french frieses
hard for us
no appletises
lard:
fried eggs
fried eggs

lard:
one day
my clothes will fit
i won’t be
a portly git
mark:
with no elastic waists
and no big sizes
doing up my chuffin’ flies is
what i dream of
no surprises, eh

spoken:
mark: go on, do your jonny greentrees thing
lard: what, solo? i’ve not worked anything out
mark: well, neither does he
lard: oh, right

mark:
wearing denim blouses
and these outsize trousers
lard: we’re built just like two brick sh*thouses
mark, spoken: i can’t be *rs*d with this diet
lard: no, nor me
both: no surprises
lard:
the chips are mine
and the chicken pieses
mark:
nice one
nice one

lard, spoken: am i too loud?

- the shirehorses lyrics

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