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country spouse - the shirehorses lyrics

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bloomin’ ‘eck! what’s going on now with him?
my wife’s got three chins!

city fella
i hate paul weller
i thought to myself, “whoops, my wife’s a little tubby.”
stuffing her fat face continually

she’s been to the clinic
but her heart’s not in it
curry and rice, an apple slice in a minute
caught in a nightmare of pie and peas

oh i’m jack spratt
she’s so fat

i live with me spouse
my very big spouse in the country
necking gravy chips and peas
that’s the food she eats in the country

she drinks a gallon of pils
but the weight she spills in the country
have a ham and pickle balm
that’ll keep her calm in the country

scoffing knickerbocker glory
she’ll always ignore me
feeding her face whilst watching jackanory
downing her order, a mug of tea

sitting on the sh*tter
whilst knocking back bitter
she needs a helping hand, i’d better go and get her
oh, what a case of obesity

yes, and how
she’s a lardy *rs*d cow

i live with me spouse
my very big spouse in the country
necking gravy chips and peas
that’s the food she eats in the country

she drinks a gallon of pils
but the weight she spills in the country
have a ham and pickle balm
that’ll keep her calm in the country

in the country (whoa)
in the country (whoa)
in the country

[guitar solo]
in the country (whoa)
in the country (whoa)
in the country

i live with me spouse
my very big spouse in the country
necking gravy chips and peas
that’s the food she eats in the country

she has a gallon of pils
but the weight she spills in the country
have a ham and pickle balm
that’ll keep her calm in the country

in the country (whoa)
in the country (whoa)
in the country

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