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the jolly green giant - the royal guardsmen lyrics

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hey jolly green giant! what’s new besides ho ho ho?

would you believe a rowboat with three leaky worms?

you heard about the jolly green giant (potato)
he’s so big and mean (artichoke hearts)
he stands there laughing with his hands on his hips
and then he hits you with a can of beans

he lives down in his valley (spinach)
the cat stands tall and green (brussel sprouts)
well he ain’t no prize. there’s no women his size
and that’s why the cat’s to mean

one day he left, his valley cat
i mean to say this cat was mad
now lookin’ round, he wasn’t gone long
and then he ran into an amazon

and this changed his whole complexion (broccoli)
he’d never seen such a beautiful sight (asparagus)
well he looked at her and she looked at him
and he almost p-ssed out from fright

he looked at her, thought what a dilly
he touched her once, she slapped him silly
now this was something he’d never said
he looked at her and she commenced
now listen pal this ain’t no flew
i can’t see goin’ with a big green fool

you heard about the jolly green giant (watermelons)
never let his troubles cross your mind (corn!)
he couldn’t get sally, so he went back to his valley
the cat was color blind

do do do do do do do do do (carrots)
do do do do do do do do do (and peas)
do do do do do, do do do do
do do do do do do do do
sorry about that chief!

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