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words written over coffee - the riot before lyrics

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pages filled cover the floor all covered up with ink
words written over coffee doc-ment my struggling
those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief
for all i k!lled in search of honesty

see i used to be a mustard seed shouting at the mountain
i used to hang my head when it stayed far from the ocean
i used to claim its failure and from the depths of depression
i cried to god but god did not respond

like a barrel chested strongman i suspended disbelief
i held it high over my head though all the weight was staggering
but legs buckled and muscles burned, in came gravity
i dropped it all, faced what i’d been avoiding

for many years i walked that road, for many years i tried
so earnestly i sought the relationship advertised
but my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied
yeah i quit, i forfeit eternal life

i did not take inheritance when i left to go away
i did what was commanded when that rich man asked to be saved
i left my friends my family behind all for heaven’s sake
i am no prodigal and this is no mistake

so i’m sorry mom i’m sorry dad, i really want you to be proud
don’t want to disappoint you all, don’t want to let you down
but i have stopped searching for truth hiding behind heaven’s cloud
don’t save my place, of this race i do bow out

- the riot before lyrics

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