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it's a feeders christmas! - the rifftones lyrics

[intro, spoken; dad, mom, 1st child, 2nd child]
mom! dad! there’s a sp*ceship outside!
wha? honey, would you go take a look?
okay, dear. is*is that an airplane?
*unholy, monstrous feeder shrieking*
aw, it’s those pesky feeders again! darn it!
yuck! they look like wads of chewed gum!
they’re prob’bly gonna k!ll us, and i’ve still got presents to wrap!

[verse 1, sung; balladeer, family]
well, tonight, it’s christmas eve
in this pennsylvania town
there’s lots of cheesy digital snowflakes
floatin’ all around
when suddenly a flying saucer
hovers very near
the aliens have come to feed
and fill our hearts with cheer (yaaay!)

[chorus; all]
it’s a feeders christmas
well, how ’bout that?
they murdеred grandma
and squished her cat—that cat wеnt splat!
now they’re in our bas*m*nt
and they’re here to say
“have a very merry, not*so*scary
feeders christmas day!”
[interlude, spoken; dad, mom, 1st child, 2nd child]
hey, the lights went out!
aw, it’s that dumb old fuse box again!
no, dad, it’s the feeders! they want to k!ll us!
anyone seen the dog?

[verse 2, sung; ballader, family]
well, now, santa’s sleigh got shot down
and it’s burning on the lawn
they’ve disemboweled the parish priest
and we may not live till dawn
but there’s no reason to despair
my friends, i’ll tell you what
’cause santa’s packed a laser gun
to kick some feeder b*tt (yaaay!)

[chorus; all]
they call them feeders
yeah, that’s their name
not really scary
they’re pretty lame
and you can k!ll them
so easily
we’ll bash their skulls with a baseball bat
and hang them on the tree
*otherworldly feeder warbling*

[chorus; all]
it’s a feeders christmas
well, how ’bout that?
they murdered grandma
and squished her cat—that cat went splat!
now they’re in our bas*m*nt
and they’re here to say
“have a very merry, not*so*scary
feeders christmas day!”
“have a very merry, not*so*scary
feeders christmas day!”

[outro, spoken; all]
merry christmas, feeders!

- the rifftones lyrics

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