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myrtle’s always there - the parselmouths lyrics

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just want to fix my makeup
just want to do my hair
but i can’t, and it’s because
myrtle’s always there

[part 1:
her clothes are so outdated
her complexion’s not too great
even though she’s kind of nice
she’s just too much to take

so i avoid the bathroom
that’s on the second floor
because that’s where you’ll find myrtle
the dead girl who’s such a bore]

just want to go in silence
without a ghostly stare
but i can’t, and it’s because
myrtle’s always there

[part 2:
ok, so i’ll admit it
sometimes she’s not so bad
a friend who is transparent
is a useful friend to have
i really love to gossip
and myrtle knows it all
when we want the latest update
we ask her to peek through walls]

just want to fix my makeup
just want to do my hair
but i can’t, and it’s because
myrtle’s always there

[parts 1 and 2 sung at the same time by different singers]

everyone else hates myrtle
but we say, ‘au contraire’
she does things we wouldn’t dare
so give this ghost a chance that’s fair
give your thanks and be aware
that myrtle’s always there

- the parselmouths lyrics

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