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not my usual self - the other (horrorpunk) lyrics

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staring at walls
all padded and white
eerie thoughts in my head, a stranger’s mind
life turned upside down
my mind in a haze
i don’t feel at all like my usual self
nostalgia when clear
melancholia while here
nothing remains all sentiments weird
you’re always with me
a reason to be
you couldn’t be any further away

where do we go from here
where do we go from here

never alive, never myself, no more control, one last farewell
never released, (never revealed), i am in my own cell
everything cold, everything numb, everything has come undone
everything lost, my last goodbye, it comes with a gun

cracks in the walls
like cracks in my mind
a state of ruin, not a pretty sight
this now is my home
not different from home
a lonely place i wanna run from
too much all at once
too much to deal with
now here i am in this hole of filth
a self-made jail
still keeps me alive
i will leave with a bang tonight

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