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greatest place on earth - the original cast of tell tale harbour lyrics

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[intro: women]
we’re a picture in a postcard
a dream you’ve held so dear
if you ever chase a rainbow
it’s gonna land you here
where the sun is always shining
and ne’er a drop of rain
our little piece of paradise
on another perfect day

[verse 1: frank]
well h*llo my dear physician
how i envy your position
for you’ve landed in a wonderland
where all will want to be
believe me when i tells you now
there’s never been a cat’s meow
that’s anywhere as perfect
as this promised land and sea
[speaking]
ah, dr. christopher compton*sackville, i presume

[dr. chris]
ah*uh, just chris is fine

[frank]
i’m frank
welcome to tell tale harbour

[bridge 1]
tell the mothers, tell the fathers
tell ‘em all about tell tale harbour
you found the holy grail and found it first!
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth

[verse 2]
we’re the mostest of the british isles

[woman 1]
the tea has never been so high

[woman 2]
a drop of dear ol’ blighty in the sea

[man 1]
a fish and chips, a glasgow kiss
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[man 2]
a pint of beer as warm as p*ss

[company]
a palace surely fit for a king and a queen

[bridge 2]
[woman 3]
i’ll tell you now, me ducky
you’re nothing if not lucky

[company]
you’ve stumbled on a blessing, not a curse!
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth

[bridge 3]
[man 3]
and when you’re finished with your mug up
you can royally cut a rug up

[frank]
the dancers here are surely number first!

[man 3]
we’ve got ladies with their bralies
[women]
and gentlemen in wellies

[frank]
they float an inch or two above the dirt!

[company]
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth

[frank]
yep!

[bridge 4]
[dr. chris]
well this is some kind of reception
i can say without exception
must be treasured by each newest doc or nurse
it’s just a thirty*day rotation
in this most peculiar nation
is that a pillow slip he’s wearing for a shirt?
welcome welcome to the strangest place on earth

[verse 3]
[frank]
now it hardly ever rains here
and n0body complains here
as the weather’s picture*perfect
like a postcard you might say

[woman 1]
i’ll tell you, mr. manny
[?] beach is like miami

[woman 2]
you can sunbathe in your birthday suit
in june or christmas day!

[bridge 5]
[man 4]
‘cus’ before the year is done, sir
we get thirteen months of sun, sure!

[woman 2]
you can tan your face and *rs* until they hurts

[frank]
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth

[dr. chris]
[?] are they playing cricket?

[verse 4]
[frank]
don’t be talking about the cricket
sir, we swear the wicket’s wicked
and we got the bestest bowler bowling up or down the shore
he’s had his share of golden ducks
with his googlies*

[woman 2]
and his mighty fff*flippers

[frank]
he’s got maidens in his pockets
and there’s dollies all galore

[bridge 6]
we’ve got batsmen, we’ve got rovers
sure we’ve never lost an over
we just won the crown and took the bl**dy purse!

[company]
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth

[frank]
stay here a month, without a doubt
a tempest couldn’t drive you out
you’d be like a pig in sh*te for all he’s worth!

[company]
welcome welcome to the greatest place

[dr. chris]
you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face!

[company]
welcome welcome to the greatest place on earth!

- the original cast of tell tale harbour lyrics

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