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it sucks to be me (parody) - the newfangled four lyrics

[intro]
doo doo doo doo*doo*doo
doo doo*doo doo doo*doo doo
doo doo doo doo*doo*doo
doo doo*doo doo doo doo doo

[jackson]
how did we get
to be this kind of quartet
why must we sing funny songs (and oh how i)

[all]
wish we could go back
and see an old throwback
we just want to feel we belong (ba da*da*da)
(but) we’ve not arrived yet
we’ve not made the five yet
so maybe then we should just stop

but!
somehow we can’t shake
the feeling we might make
a difference to barrrr…
berrr…

shop! da*dab*da*da da*da*da
da*da*dab*da*da da*da*da
[jackson, *ryan*, spoken]
hey ryan!
*hey jackson*
how’s life?
*disappointing…*
what’s the matter?
*you’re all better at comedy than me…*
oh, that’s not true…
*i mean look at me! we’re years into this contest and i always thought that i would…*
what?
*no, it sounds stupid.*
oh, come on!

[ryan]
when we first started, i thought i would be (he thought he’d be)
the member of the quartet that was funny (but now)
but now it’s been four years and as you can see
i’m not. (he’s not!)
oh well… (oh well…)
it sucks to be me! (it sucks to be him!)
it sucks to be me! (it sucks to be him!)

[all]
a note machine
harmonic, robo*tronic guy that sings
[ryan]
the baritone part…

[all except ryan]
sucks to be ryan

[all except jackson]
but what about jacksan?

[all, (all except jackson), *jackson*]
*i’m kind of* pretty, and pretty dang smart (he’s such a hunk)
a connoisseur of sorts that sings the lead part (and i)
*i know you* think about me when we’re apart
so why won’t (we)
*say my name right?*
(no!)

*it sucks to be me!* (it sucks to be him!)
it sucks to be *me* (it sucks to be him!)
*such musical* moxy
*i’m* so foxy
that i want to hear

[jackson, speaking]
can i have this just this once? please? i’ve been waiting so long…
[jackson]
my name is…

[all except jackson]
da*da*dab*da*da da*da*da!

[jackson, speaking]
dang it!

[all]
da*da*dab*da*da da*da*da

[ryan, speaking]
hey jake, joey, can you settle something for us?
have you got a second?

[joey, speaking]
of course!

[jackson]
whose life sucks more, ryan’s or mine?

[jake and joey]
ours!

[joey]
my name is joey

[all except jake]
da*da!

[jake]
and my name is jake
bum*bum*bum*bum

[jackson and ryan]
they’re pretty cool

[all]
(our) unisons are the best two boys can make!

[joey, speaking to jake]
alright, i know the game, you know the game
you’re gonna sing a note, you’re gonna sing a vowel
on the count of three, and i will match it perfectly
are you ready? alright, 1*2*3!

[jake, followed immediately by joey]
aah!

[joey, spoken]
okay, um, 1*2*3!

[jake, followed immediately by joey]
ooh!

[jake, spoken]
oh, oh

[joey]
okay, pretty good
alright, uh.. blindfolded!
uh, 1*2*3!

[jake, followed immediately by joey]
eee…

[joey, speaking, despite being out of tune]
ah, i did it!

[jake, speaking]
yeah, really…
yeah, really nailed that one…
but!

[all]
his notes are never learned
which make me look really bad! oh…
every day is an aggravation
come on, that’s an exaggera*!

[jackson, spoken]
*ey, hey, whoa, whoa, we don’t need any of that

[joey, spoken to jake]
alright, you know what, i’m sorry, you’re just trying to help me be the best me that i can be, and i treasure your soul, and i treasure your friendship…

[jake, spoken]
yes…

[joey, whispered into microphone]
…if you wanna take this outside, i can take you back there, and we could take this, i could… take you,…

[jake, spoken]
joey, i can hear you, i can hear you

[joey, spoken]
i hear you too, i hear you too, man,…

[jake, spoken]
no, like…

[joey, spoken]
…friendship, above all. and for you, my friend, for you my friend, i’m gonna know my notes for every song we sing from now on

[jake, spoken]
o*kay…

[joey, whispered into microphone]
i already know my notes, so your (whiney voice) you don’t know your notes joey, got [?]…

[joey, whispering to jackson]
what’s my note?

[jackson]
doo…

[all, (all but joey), *joey*]
da!
you drive me crazy
*i* feel misunderstood (he feels no good)
i try to get rhythms right but sometimes i mess mess them up

[joey, jake]
whoa…

[jake]
you make me feel that

[all]
this quartet i love is un*

[all but joey]
*well…

[joey]
so do you
that’s why i’m
unwell too
it sucks to be

[all]
me

[jake]
it sucks to be me…

[ryan]
it sucks to be me…

[jackson]
it sucks to be me…

[all]
is there anybody here it doesn’t
suck to be?
it sucks to be me!

[jackson, spoken]
well, i guess our lives really suck, guys

[jake, spoken]
yeah, guess so

[joey, spoken]
it’s gotta suck more to be someone else here…

[jackson, spoken]
artistic license?

[joey, spoken]
no, that’s too easy…

[jake, spoken]
those guys are our friends. they’re our… they’re our friends

[jackson, spoken]
wait a minute… oh…

[all chuckle]

[joey]
oh, thank you…

[jake]
a scooba*scooba*scooba*dat!

[joey, spoken]
hi, how are you? um, may i have your attention please, distinguished judges? and jay dougherty? um, how are you today? um, maybe you guys can help us out. we’re looking for a higher score for our songs, if you wouldn’t mind. so, um… you want a higher price? how about a higher pitch?

[backup scat vocals change key up several steps]

[joey, spoken]
higher price?

[backup scat vocals go back down to normal]

[joey, spoken]
okay, alright, we can… do that… oh! i’m sorry, everyone else, allow me to fill you in on, uh, what’s going on here…

[all, (all but jackson), *jackson*]
these are our judges, and they don’t like our *jokes* (we knew that so)
*we* promised lots of money to these lovely folks
truth is we’re broke and so i hope you get the joke…
*it was a hoax!* (what a hoax!)
*we were untrue!* (so untrue!)
no money for you!
it sucks to be you
it sucks to be you
it sucks to be you
it sucks to be you
it sucks to be you
it sucks (to be you)
(it sucks to be)

[jackson, spoken]
guys, guys, guys! oh my gosh, it’s working! i’ve never seen so many 90s in my life!

[jake, spoken]
we did it man! free points!

[all, spoken]
wait a minute…

[all turn heads upside down dejectedly]

[jake]
it sucks to be us…

[all]
it sucks to be us…

[ryan, spoken]
okay…

- the newfangled four lyrics

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