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gaston (parody) - the newfangled four lyrics

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jackson:
my dudes, i’m super stressing
these youtube comments are so depressing
one by one, they’re all acquiescing
i may not be a very good lead

all except jackson:
woah, no, no way my guy

jake:
you’re so fresh and fly

jackson:
dismissed (oh no)
rejected (not so)
publically humiliated (but how, just wow!)
ooh

all except jackson:
you? never my man!
you’ve got to pull yourself together, jacksan!

jackson:
hey, it drives me insane when you say my name wrong!

all:
thеn girl (girl?)
you’re really gonna hate this song
ryan and jakе:
this song

all:
jackson!

jackson (spoken):
guys, you know my name is actually pr*nounced jack*

ryan:
gosh, it disturbs us to see you jackson (see you jackson)
looking so down in the dumps

jake:
now every voice here’d love to be you jackson (be you jackson)
even our friend donald duck

jackson:
i thought you were gonna say donald tr*

all:
trust us, there’s no one admired as you
you’re everyone’s tenth favorite lead!

jackson:
but we were ninth!
all:
if everyone’s awed and inspired by me

jackson:
then i hope you three will show me why….

joey:
we are going to show you whyyyyyy

ryan (spoken):
you just have*

jake (spoken):
to see it!

joey (spoken):
through our eyes…

jake (spoken):
he’s casting a spell

all:
woah!

jackson (spoken):
i’m starting to see it now
all:
no…
one’s….
sl!ck as jackson, no one’s quick as jackson
vocal chords as incredibly thick as jackson!
for there’s no pipes as electrifying

all except jackson:
yes you know that he is perfect, the purest of beings

jackson (spoken):
hey, thanks guys!

jackson:
you can ask any joe, jake, or ryan

all:
and they’ll tell you he’s surely a son of a*

jackson:
rich set of parents who could afford quality voice lessons

jake (spoken):
that was close

all:
who…
out…smarts like jackson
martial arts like jackson
who’s so great at karate wax off and wax on!
all my punches and kicks are so devastating!
my, what a guy that jackson!

jackson:
i needed encouragement, thank you my dudes

all except jackson:
well, there’s no one as easy to bolster as you

all:
debonair like jackson
lush red hair like jackson
no one else quite excels at skincare like jackson!

jackson:
my girlfriend says i’m good at exfoliating

jackson (spoken):
ah! ow! why!

all:
no blackheads for jackson!

all except jackson:
and his eyebrows are perfectly drawn!

all:
when i was a lad, i’d post four dozen tags
every morning to help me sing high

jake:
he can fly

all:
but now that i’m grown i post five dozen tags
watch me warming right up to the sky

jackson:
sky*sky*skyyyy
*whistles*

jackson (spoken):
oh, i can’t even sing the high notes today, guys
this is just not good
nothing about this is*

all except jackson:
jack
son
jack (what’s happening?)
son

jake:
it’s a montage

all except jackson:
jack (what’s going on?)
son

ryan:
we’re showing the audience a transformation

jackson (spoken):
you’re not actually doing anything

all:
no…
one…
kicks like jackson
bad like mickel jackson
no one’s moonwalk is so freaking sick like jackson!
if you thought that was great, watch his figure skating!

jackson:
say it again (who’s a man among men?)
and then say it once more (who’s the hero next door?)

all:
who’s a super success?
don’t you know, can’t you guess?
yes my best friends, my three hangers

all except jackson:
we love jackson!

all:
we should all clown around
let’s hang out if you’re down!

ryan:
and his name’s j*a*s
j*x…t?
i think there’s a number seven?
you know, it just occurred to me that i’ve never had to spell it out before

jackson:
you think that’s hard try spelling my last name

all except jackson:
that’s easy it’s
n*i*e*b*r*u*g*g*e

jackson:
well then say it out loud

all except jackson:
nibogringo…
ninjaburger…
ninnybruggy…

jackson (spoken):
no! it’s not ninnybrungy
it’s jackson nickleback

joey (spoken):
lemme get to the bottom of this…

jake (spoken):
one with the kitzmiller. you breathe in, you breathe out
find your chair pose

ryan (spoken):
i think i found it

joey (spoken):
there it is. oh, there is a 7 in there

ryan (spoken):
must be belgian

all:
my, what a guy! (what a guy)

jackson:
i now believe i am your guy!
jackson

all except jackson:
such a bae like jackson
yass queen slay like jackson
when you sing you just blow us away
jackson!

all:
jack…son!

- the newfangled four lyrics

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