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conditional love - the narcissist cookbook lyrics

[spoken]
i am starting to wonder
if i am
attracted to abusive people
at the very least these people keep finding me
i guess it could be coincidence, but i don’t think it is
i think i go looking for them
i think i part of me wants this
i think that part of me wants
strict rules
a relationship
based
on my ability to adhere to protocol
explicit pass/fail criteria
with no grey areas
hoops of fires to jump through
long nights of screaming, and crying, and
the peace
the calm that comes after
i don’t want you to respect or value me for
who i am, that is not special
anyone can do that
i want you to want
more from me than that
i want you to want more from me than me
i want someone who will treat me like i treat myself
i want conditional love
and if you refuse to be this person
if you say, “not me, i couldn’t do that”
that’s okay
but if you are willing to learn
then i can teach you

- the narcissist cookbook lyrics

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