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why not me? - the lonely island lyrics

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[host 1, spoken]
congratulations to all of the 90th academy award nominees

[host 2, spoken]
i love these movies
but they never seem to choose the blockbusters, do they?

[host 1, spoken]
they sure don’t
i guess they’ll just have to settle for all that money, huh?

[thor]
why not me?
do i not deserve a nomination?
the reviews were raves to be sure
“fun for the whole family
look no farther than thor”

[wonder woman]
why not me?
i left my family to fight for what’s right
saved the world from the devil below
but i’m sure it was hard for
sir daniel day-lewis to learn how to sew

[thor & wonder woman]
why not me?

[thor]
i battled cate blanchett

[thor & wonder woman]
why not me?

[wonder woman]
i hid a sword in my dress

[thor & wonder woman]
we both faced death it’s true
but at least lady bird got into nyu…

[pennywise]
why not me?
in all the money in the world
they kidnapped one kid
and they got a nomination
i k!lled hundreds
i guess that’s what you get
when you’re not
“cl-ssically handsome”
oscars so white
but i guess not for me
i need to raise my quote
so i can finally fix my t–th
horror movies always get the shaft

[tiffany haddish, spoken]
hey… let me do one!

(sung)
i peed while hanging from a zip-line
meryl streep has never done that

[the 4 chrises]
we’d like to pet-tion for
a new category:
“best chris”
or you could just write “chris”
on an oscar
and we can share it
trade off on weekends

[evans]
roll call!

[hemsworth]
hemsworth!

[pratt]
pratt!

[evans]
evans!

[pine]
pine!

[chris rock]
rock!

(sung)
what? it’s us! the chrises!

[the 5 chrises]
go chris!

[michael f-ssbender]
and why not the snowman?
it was a box office smash

(spoken)
what’s that? it wasn’t?

(sung)
well oscars doesn’t care
since it was critically acclaimed

(spoken)
7% positive? are you serious?

(sung)
well i thought it was a neat idea

[aquaman]
in the shape of water
i heard that a lady boned a fish man
but if you’re gonna bone a fish man
why not bone a fish like this man?

[dominic toretto]
and what even is art?
how do you define its importance?
if popcorn movies are bad
how come popcorn’s so delicious?
and when i blow up 6 cars
how is that worse than schindler’s list is?

[all]
why not me?

[thor & wonder woman]
we saved the world

[all]
why not me?

[dominic toretto]
i am toretto

[all]
why not me?

[aquaman]
i heard a lady boned a fish man

[all]
why not me?

[michael f-ssbender]
the snowman was underrated!

[all]
why not me?

[the 5 chrises]
we’d like to pet-tion for
a new category:
“best chris”

[pennywise]
i have terrible t–th

[all]
why not me?

[thor]
i got a cool new haircut

[all]
why not me?

[baby groot]
i am groot

[all]
why not us?

- the lonely island lyrics

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