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natalie's rap - the lonely island lyrics

[intro: chris parnell & natalie portman]
we’re sitting here today with film star natalie portman
h-llo
so natalie, tell us what a day in the life of natalie portman is like?
do you really want to know?
please, tell us

[verse 1: natalie portman & the lonely island]
i don’t sleep, motherf-cker; off that ‘gnac and the durban
doin’ 120, gettin’ head while i’m swervin’
d-mn natalie, you a crazy chick
yo, shut the f-ck up and suck my d-ck!
i bust in dudes’ mouths like gushers motherf-cker
roll up on nbc and smack the sh-t outta jeff zucker
what you want natalie? to drink and fight!
what you need natalie? to f-ck all night!
don’t test me when i’m crazy off that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat ’til your sh-t’s in my shoe
leave you screamin’, pay for my dry-cleanin’
f-ck your man, it’s my name that he’s screamin’!

[interlude: chris parnell & natalie portman]
i’m sorry natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
i never said that i was a role model
but, what about the kids that look up to you? do you have a message for them?

[verse 2: natalie portman & the lonely island]
all the kids looking up to me can suck my d-ck
it’s portman, motherf-cker, drink ’til i’m sick
slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry; while i laugh, you die
and all the dudes, you know i’m talkin’ to you
we love you natalie! i wanna f-ck you too!
p! is for portman! p! it’s for p-ssy!
i’ll k!ll your f-ckin’ dog for fun, so don’t push me!

[interlude: chris parnell & natalie portman]
well natalie, i’m surprised, all this coming from a harvard graduate?
well, there’s a lot you may not know about me
really, such as?

[verse 3: natalie portman]
when i was in harvard i smoked weed everyday
i cheated every test and snorted all the yay
i got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes
i’ll sit right down on your face and take a sh-t!

[bridge: andy samberg & natalie portman]
natalie, you are a bad -ss b-tch (h-ll yeah!)
and i’ll always pay for your dry-cleaning
when my sh-t gets in your shoe (what!)
and as for the drug use, well i can vouch for that
my d-ck is scared of you, girl

[interlude: chris parnell & natalie portman]
okee-doke
natalie, one final question
if you could steal a smooch from any guy in hollywood who would it- [chair slam]
no more questions

[outro: natalie portman]
what!

- the lonely island lyrics

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