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vasectomy - the limeliters lyrics

well, i went to see my doctor,
i said, “doc, i can’t pay my bills!
the rent’s all spent,
the truck’s got a dent,
and i think i’m gettin’ the chills
from being forced to sleep alone,
you see this house just ain’t no home,
i can’t afford no kids,
my life is on the skids,
’cause my woman says
“leave me alone,
unless you get a vasectomy!
you ought to get a vasectomy!
just one little male alteration
can keep us from another altercation!
get a vasectomy!
you ought to get a vasectomy!
oh what a vas deferens there could be!”

well, the next thing i know,
i’m laying on a table
with a light shinin’ in my eyes!
they strapped my wrists,
they strapped my ankles,
and they double-strapped my thighs!

the nurses were a gigglin’
and i was a wigglin’,
most uncomfortably,
when the doc walked in,
with a perverted grin,
and here’s what he said to me:

“it only hurts
for a little while,
that’s what they tell me,
that’s what they say!”

oooeeeiy! ooooh! aiiiy oh!

well, it’s two weeks later,
and i feel a little better,
my mind is more at ease.
the rent’s still spent,
the truck’s got a dent,
but my woman’s no longer a tease!

and even down at the office,
there is a lot more interest in me,
the girls all grin when i walk in!
and brother, they mean to please
a man with a vasectomy,
you ought to get a vasectomy!
like a sun-kissed orange,
i’ve been squeezed,
’cause it’s all juice and there’s no seed!

well, a vasedctomy!
you ought to get a vasectomy!
oh what a vas deferens!
it’s beginnin’ to make a little sense!
oh what a vas deferens there could…’

here is the part that i like the most,
it takes the danger out of bein’ close!

oh what a vas deferens there could..

they snip those little suckers right in two
and clamp ’em of with super-glue!

oh what a vas deferens there could be!

- the limeliters lyrics

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