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i'm going to poundland - the lancashire hotpots lyrics

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[intro (spoken)]
y’aright? bob ‘ere
let me tell you about my missus, she proper does my head in
absolutely in cloud cuckoo land where money’s concerned
have a listen to this

[verse 1]
well my wife has that female disease
she thinks that money grows on trees
she never stops to think who pays the bills (who pays the bills)
she might love them but i hate those
posh supermarkets like the waitrose
i need cheaper shops to gеt my thrills

oh my wife, her royal highness
shе likes her tesco finest
but my bank account don’t like her fancy ways (don’t like her ways)
as i sit ‘ere proper brassic
thought i’d write meself a classic
about the store i’ve found where shopping really pays

[chorus]
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
it’s the best shop in the land
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
won’t you understand?
don’t shop at those posh stores it doesn’t make sense
’cause nothing you buy costs more than one hundred pence
[spoken intermission]
one hundred pence!
get everything you need for that!
maybe not a car

[verse 2]
her indoors she lives beyond our means
i can just afford a tin of beans
yet she wants marks and sparkses every day (every day)
she needs to stop it, needs to get a grip
i need to take a shopping trip
to the best value store around our way

and they’re on your street, they’re on my street
they’re on each and every high street
they make shopping so much fun for you and me (for you and me)
i have never felt more alive
and you don’t spend more than a fiver
let me tell you c*ckers, where’s the place to be

[chorus]
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
it’s the best shop in the land
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
won’t you understand?
don’t shop at those posh stores it doesn’t make sense
’cause nothing you buy costs more than one hundred pence
[spoken intermission]
right, walk past booths, we’re not going in there, right, in ‘ere

[bridge]
ten double*a batteries? (just a pound!)
some rubbish cds? (just a pound!)
fifty wooden pegs? (just a pound!)
three cadbury’s creme eggs? (just a pound!)
a slotted spoon? (just a pound!)
a big pack of balloons? (just a pound!)
a cleaning mitt? (just a pound!)
a nasal hair removal kit!

[chorus]
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
it’s the best shop in the land
i’m going to poundland (he’s going to poundland)
c*ckers, won’t you understand?
don’t shop at those posh stores it doesn’t make sense
’cause nothing you buy costs more than one hundred pence

[outro (spoken)]
right, that nasal hair removal kit? i’m gonna get that you for christmas. it’s like a forest up there

what? pound bakery!? get in (yee*ha)

- the lancashire hotpots lyrics

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