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i pirate - the kritters lyrics

[intro]
flappin’ flotsam, what’s that?

[verse 1]
arr
i’m a motherf*ckin’ pirate
on a motherf*ckin’ boat
got me squattin’ off the plank
i’m ’bout to sh*t and watch it float
i got booty in me face
and i got booty in me coat
take ye loot
then we scoot and
drinkin’ rum until we choke
come into ye village
know we gotta rape and pillage (rape and pillage)
rape and pillage!
hide ye husbands, they gon’ get it
got a landlubbin’ b*tch
got in her bikini bottoms
yea, she make me start to itch
stds, you know we got ’em

[verse 2]
if i catch ye lackin’ then ye know that imma swashbuckle
matey trynna act up, hit the brig and then it’s barе knuckles
p**p, p**p, p**p, better hit thе f*ckin’ deck
while i shoot, shoot, shoot
flyin’ dutchman gives me neck (bang!)
collateral, shot a pregnant woman in the gut (aye)
gotta hook*hand so i’m afraid to scratch me nuts (my nuts)
keep a bunch of women in me locker, call me davy jones
on the seven seas i see a mermaid, then we start to bone
i got a lotta booty, you would think that i’m a banker
the water’s getting rougher, use your mom for the anchor
i plunder with me crew, yeah, we gonna rape the city!
some vitamin c, yeah, i wanna suck (yar) them titties!
[verse 3]
it’s in me pirate genes that i go for ye booty
got nowhere to sh*t on, the deck’s where i p**py
hundred men on the ship, no girls, yeah, i’m fruity
drink a little rum, f*ckin’ manatee booty
girls with one hand, yeah, we call those the hookers
she’s missin’ both eyes, yeah, i think she’s a looker
ripped off her skirt, only scurvy in her cooter
pulled on her hair while she’s chewin’ on me goober (my goober)

[outro]
aaaand stop!
don’t worry cap’n, we’ll buff out those scratches

- the kritters lyrics

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