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yay! i'm not a daddy! - the former fat boys lyrics

this boy’s hot, i don’t need to tell you that
eyes see and girls check out that we formerly fat
stomach is flat
so show me the rack
cuz i already told you that back
on show me ya tats
she’s grinding so hard i’m covered in rug burns
and we’re doing it bareback, cuz there’s no aids in the suburbs
and i get mine then disappear right into thin air
like a blonde haired lionel richie heir
poof vamoose like bilbo like frodo i’ve come and i’m gone
then fwoop whoop i was there all along
and i used a fake name, and made up a fake job
i ain’t need to be stalked like corn on the cob
and we blowing up huge so the worlds at our shows
and lo and behold, she’s backstage cuz she’s a ho
she’s like i’m not here for lies, we ain’t got time
i’m f-cking ten days late like third eye blind

no i’m not a daddy
no way i can’t have a kid
no i’m not a daddy
no way i don’t have a kid

ditch the after party, 10 bucks wal-mart invested
she won’t p-ss on it in the store she’s princess-en
i need privacy, and wine i’m parched a bit
i’m sorry baby, i can’t pee in public
great i got a k-fed before i even made fifty bucks
i’m like listen i was lying about blowing up
so i take her cross the highway to the holidae inn express
and somehow, this b-tch is acutally impressed
$50 bucks later, a few glugs of wild irish rose
she’s peeing on the the thing like hustler videos
chicks brunette, but i -ssume its dyed
while we wait she suggests we f-ck to p-ss the time
and my jaw is dropped, but her top is popped
so i lay down like dr. suess she hops on pop
2 minutes later i’m done and the test is too
there’s a weird line appearing that’s kinda light blue
cross check the box to be sure, my baby mama grabs me
girl you ain’t pregnanat, yay i’m not a daddy!

yay i’m not a daddy
whooooo yeah i don’t have a kid

phase one
a half cooked son
put it back in the oven
until the soft spot’s done
i tried to pull up
or out before i came
the tower yelling abort
i eject from the plane
i put on a shirt
just to empty a hanger
she’s a little apprehensive
who’s to say i could blame her
danger will robinson
abort abort
i feel like charles bronson
unlocking car doors
sucks-x, the deed is done
whip out the petron
let’s have some fun
buying drinks for the bar
handing out cigars
got a stork that says yay i’m not a daddy in my front yard
celebrating hard
take a chick back to my car
learn my lesson? no, she’s gorgeous i’m not smart
cuz i’m almost a star
i can’t have no shar
i ain’t need a chick with no c-section scars

so ladies if you’re not babied up
i’m no obgyn, but i say fill up a cup
yeah ladies, if you’re not babied up
i’m no surgeon general but i say light up

all my brothers, if she’s not babied up
grab another chick cuz the night is young
and everybody, without a kid on the way
raise your gl-ss up to the sky and let me here you say yay

- the former fat boys lyrics

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