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i rule hyrule (the smash bros. anthem) - the former fat boys lyrics

i rule hyrule with an iron fist
that i found in a forrest
so deep locked away in a castle
that i had to find cuz some -sshole
kidnapped a damsel
and so began my endless quest
to save the world from this terrorist
no matter how many times he eats my fist
ceases to exist, poofs into mist, exploits something i missed
and i have to go save some -ss
complete tasks, sometimes in a mask
sometimes in the future, sometimes in the past
sometimes as a wolf, just for laughs
gotta find some keys, collect collect rupees
hookshot or boomerrang makes these keese freeze
and all you haters that sit there laughing
grab a wave bird and just see what happens
wavedash your -ss, your gums stop flapping
challenge me in the temple if you doubt the rappin
cuz i don’t give a f-ck if you sheik or ganon
you’re damage percent gonna be off the map and
i’m take it the top, no lifes lost, champ of the nation
i don’t die that’s humiliation
cuz my final smash, f-ck it, i’ll just bash your face in
you ain’t gonna beat it me, come and face it

i am the champ
2 players or 4
i am the one
who holds the triforce
i max the ko’s
last one to stand
the master hand
feared throughout the land

i am the bomb cuz i’m packing bombs
and if you listen hear the crowd cheer me on cuz i got items on
and if you’re puny or wimpy like peach or ness
well excuseeeeee me princess, i’m the best
i’m original, written in stone, you’re written in ink
the adventure of link, beat in a blink
we try to forget you exist cuz you stink
as you search around for some potion to drink
to save your life or last a little longer
but i have a 16 hearts and i’ll bet i’m stronger
let peach whack me with her arnold palmer
i’ll act a goron and straight napalm her
cuz you’re so f-cking bad, you’re a face palmer
you’re f-cking dead already i’m the embalmer
i’m captain n, i’m the game master
no mega-man yet, but i’ll grab a blaster
and dr. wily your -ss you’re such a disaster
and when it comes to swords, i have the master
that i pulled from a stone like that disney flick
welcome to death mountain, this is it

you pull up in your porche
i pull up up on a horse
cuz all these princesses love epona
they hop right up and ride my b-n-r
welcome sir to hyrule where i rule and ain’t a loner
its about time your retired cuz we’re tired of your odor
my thinks mom i’ll stop when i’m older, but i’m a 27 year old wanna be coder
the next miyamoto, but for now i yo-yo
between eating sleeping and my dojo cuz

cuz this is my anthem this is my song
when i win the gold we’ll all sing along
cuz i can outwit and outlast kenny hoang (hwong)
in fact he calls me for tips, cuz his games all wrong
every time that i grab my bow
with silver arrows
act like you know
cuz i’m bout to blow
like a pokemon electrode
friday afternoon, my super show
hyrule temple 3, 2, 1 go!

- the former fat boys lyrics

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