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wilting - the downstairs room lyrics

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i think i know that voice
it came to me in my sleep
narrating failures
painted watercolours flesh out the scenes
if this is only a dream
i’ve just myself to blame
i could be anything so why am i still f*cking ashamed

i never needed you more
than when my hands start to shake
endlessly drifting and i know i’ll never wake up the same
i hear it in your tone
but can’t recall if you’d say
i shouldn’t need another reason from somebody to stay

maybe it’s all in my head
maybe none of this is real
i’ve been picking at scabs
i desperately need to heal
i’ve been living a lie
and i’m in too deep today
i could be anything so why am i still f*cking ashamed

if i could love anything
more than i hate myself
i think i could accept
maybe all i need is some help
i’m a coward at heart
always pushing away
shouldn’t need another reason from somebody to stay

i could do nothing but sit and shake for hours
with the kind of self*loathing that stings in the shower
pushing perceptions pills will prevent this pain from my head
mistaking empathy for pity
it’s just my life i’m taking

now my flowers a wilting
can’t find the sun
fed by only the knowledge that i’m no good to anyone
poison lingers on every breath
it’s all that i know and it scares me to death

- the downstairs room lyrics

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