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onions, beer, pizza, grandmas - the diarrhetards lyrics

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[intro:]
shut up!
hey grandma!
read my lips!
f*ck you!
get out of your yarny cat hair coffin
and make me some food!

pizza was invented in 1982
’bout 300 years before great*grandma’s p*ssy barfed out you
thought you sh*t your pants but it was just your menopause stinkin’
jesus christ, how tall are you now? swear to god you’re shrinkin’

your life is a mess, just like your hair
if not living was a crime, they’d give you the chair
i don’t care if you can’t smell or see
cuz you’ve got the perfect recipe
make me some godd*mn pizza
you rascal*driving buck tooth b*tch
if we were mysp*ce friends i’d dеlete ‘cha
hope your nursing homе serves deep ditch

[spoken:]
remember friends! you can’t stop aids!
it goes all over your entire body!
swims! you’re gonna die!
if you start bleeding get the f*ck out of my house!
i’m not paying for the funeral, magic jordan!
if you need to, just call your f*ckin’ dad, he’ll pick your dumb ass up!

onions are nature’s feminists
they both make you cry and are awful in bed
useless as textbooks to creationists
respected as much as a ted nugent bobblehead

onions are a b*tch and then you die
like helen keller’s period on a pizza pie
if onions were girls i’d still f*ckin’ hate ’em
like your lousy b*ttcheeks i regret that i ever ate ’em

tired of all these onions
beat ’em like a dirty trick
onion plants need abortions
like feminists need a d*ck
[spoken:]
you know i can’t afford an entire family of guiena pigs
we’ll f*ck, have guinea pigs
you raise ’em, i’ll cook ’em, we’ll eat ’em

beer takes f*ckin’ radical
it makes me fight girls and guys
coincidentally
it makes me f*ck girls and guys
it was invented by phil anselmo
so we can get drunk and shred

[guitar solo]

onions, beer, pizza, grandmas
i like two of these things
if i were you i’d k!ll myself
so shut up, and get back to dying

rick james, kriss kross, sisqo
these are all black guys
liquid d*ck basket nitro
at the end of big, tom hanks dies

pizza
(sh*t*tons of extra cheese)
pizza
(hold the onions please)
grandmas
(tits like slinkies)
grandmas
(cesspool of disease)
[outro]

onions, beer, pizza, grandmas
i like two of these things
if i were you i’d k!ll myself
so shut up, and get back to dying

- the diarrhetards lyrics

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