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wobblies from space - the dehorn crew lyrics

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listen and i’ll tell you
a tale that i’ve been told
of the union organiser
who knocked a starship cold

they met where the stars are scattered
thin on the galactic rim
and starfleet command is sorry
that they ever ran into him

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man
now the ship went patrolling rim stars
when she got a call for aid
and up comes the local covnoy
in a hurried grim parade, saying

‘captain we’ve caught a monster
who’s too much for us by far
so take him please and throw him
in the heart of the nearest star’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

‘just why do you need a whole convoy’
the captain wished to know
‘three ships to guard the other
lest he grab it as we go’

now the captain was intrigued and he
said ‘stand by for a scan’
but all that showed on the viewing screen
was the little old union man

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man
the captain said ‘i could take him’
and he beamed the man aboard
the convoy turned and raced away
crying ‘thank the lord’

then the captain looked him over
asked him ‘just what’s going on?’
they sent out half their trading fleet
just to make sure you were gone

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

the little old man just chuckled
saying ‘captain don’t you know?
my job is organising
wherever i may go

and i can build a union out of
anything you’ve got
and the folks that run that planet
well, they disliked that a lot’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man
‘i first organised the labours
then i unionised the clerks
then i unionised the robots
who staff the atomic works

but when i organised the milk cows
and let them out on strike
well, you can guess what official
reaction to that was like.’

wha*ha*ha

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

‘amazing’ said the captain
‘but you can’t do that in here
my crew are loyal navy men
and we’ve no cause to fear’

but he heard the old man saying
as he walked out the door
‘captain, you know
there have so been
navy unions before’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

well the captain soon forgot him
setting course for starbase five
for all he saw the union man
might never have been alive

till a troubled ensign asked him
‘is it true sir, what they say
that we’ve got high hazard duty
without high hazard pay?’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

well, the captain couldn’t answer
except to say ‘it’s true
starfleet could pay you better
but there’s not much i can do’

but when he woke up next morning
he found out what morale was like
for the bridge was filled with pickets
and the whole crew was on strike

hold up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

then the union man walked up and said
‘i’m sorry to trouble you
but your ship is now a job shop
for the i*double*w

we sent our demands to starfleet command
and they said they’d grant us none
so we’re just gonna keep on sailing
until this strike is won’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

‘now, further, we’ve decided
to run this co*op style
giving everyone experience
at each other’s job awhile

we like you too much to dump you
at the first starbase we see
but we’ve voted you to the galley
and this week’s command to me’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

so somewhere down in the galley
you’ll find poor captain kirk
scrubbing away on dishes
swearing it’ll never work

and spock as he dries those dishes says
‘it might succeed i fear
and please, sir, whilst you’re washing
don’t splash so much water in my ear.’

pull up your guns, run while you can
look out, here comes the union man

- the dehorn crew lyrics

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