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revenge on the nursemaid - the deadfly ensemble lyrics

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my nursemaid once gave me a kiss and a farthing
two pence would have made sense; this was alarming
i was a good boy! i never got sick!
so this slice of a penny induced a coin trick

i traded my farthing for an old metal soldier
which i sold to my brother, a collector, much older
he gave me a penny which then begat three
when i found for the soldier some staunch company

my threepenny bit soon turned to a tanner
when i resold some fruit; some plums and bananas
a half-shilling’s worth of shoe polish came next
and two bob from the bank men left my pockets perplexed

with florin in hand i set up a stand
and sold penny dreadfuls at second hand
inside of a week i’d made half a crown
and my story appraisals had earned some renown

for one sovereign, one guinea, i sold off my stock
and found my revenge when the nursemaid was shopping;
she cried at the till, “all i need is two pence!”
said i, “all i’ve got is ten pound, four and six.”

- the deadfly ensemble lyrics

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