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crap art - the cool greenhouse lyrics

well i like my sums to be hard
and i like my sculptures to be made of lard
and i like my crosswords to be done in advance
and i like my rhymes to be cr*p

and i like my paintings to be quarter**rs*d
and i like my music to be falling apart
and i like my newspapers to be turned into masks
and i like my rhymes to be cr*p
and repetitive

well thank god for cr*p art
yes thank your god for cr*p art
well at least it’s a start
yes thank your god for cr*p art

and i like my liquids to be fluid
and i like my singles to be long
well that’s good value for money
and i like my bands to be one
and i like my angles to be obtuse
or acute, i don’t mind
and i like my sevens to be sevens
one after six
and i like my pavements to be strewn with broken bricks

well thank god for cr*p art
yes thank your god for cr*p art
well at least it’s a start
yes thank your god for cr*p art

and i’m not talking about david shrigley here
y’know he’s really good…good for coffee shops
i’m more talking about a pigeon that gets trapped in a conservatory
with a load of house paints
and then it can’t escape

so go to your cr*p church
and pray to your cr*p god
and thank your god for cr*p art
well at least it’s a start

and i said to god i said “hey god!”
he said “yes, tom?”
“well what do you think about my position here?”
he said “well i like my art to be good. i like the sistine chapel. but i can see your angle”
i said “thanks god, y’know you always were so understanding”

and remember making art is really hard
don’t do yourself down
it’s ok to make cr*p
in fact it’s refreshing
’cause a monkey can use photoshop
oh and a child can use final cut pro x
to make everything feel the same

and the other day a big corporation approached me
and they asked if they could co*opt my cr*p art
’cause they mistakenly thought they saw a kind of misguided authenticity in it
that they would want to co*opt
this was three point four seconds after i posted it on the internet
i thought they had the wrong idea
but i said yes
and now i live in a mansion
it costs too much to keep warm
and i’m still paying off my advance
behold my cold mansion!
behold my cr*p mansion!

well thank god for cr*p art
yes thank your god for cr*p art
well at least it’s a start
yes thank your god for cr*p art
the cr*pper the better

and you better thank your god
for cr*p art
y’know it’s the best start
and you better thank your god

amen

- the cool greenhouse lyrics

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