the story of steaklas - the cog is dead lyrics
[verse 1]
back up in the woods of tennesee
lived a young boy named nicolas lee
but folks all called him steaklas
’cause he made really good steaks (hah!)
and on the day he became a man
moved out to texas and bought him some land
built himself a cattle ranch
that was one amazing place!
he developed himself a special technique
make your mouth water!
make your knees weak!
steaks so good you’d slap ya’ mama!
(but then she’d slap ya back)
he opened a steakhouse there in town
and pretty soon the word got around
and everybody said
“lord almighty, this boy has got a knack!”
and if you care to find him
remember this one thing:
around these parts if you want steaklas
he is called the king!
[chorus]
all hail steaklas!
king of houston steaks!
just come on down to texas
and sample the goodness that he makes!
and if you don’t believe us
that this boy’s got what it takes
there’s never been a heifer
that tastes any better
than the ones ol’ steaklas makes!
[verse 2]
well time went on and business changed
it ain’t so easy out on the range
mom & pop stores shut their doors
when big corporations come around
next thing you knew
and without any warning
there were corporate steakhouses
on every corner!
driving all the local business
right down into the ground
well steaklas got mad
and he clenched his fist
said, “hey now, i won’t stand for this!”
“ain’t n0body gonna put”
“my cattle ranch out of commision!”
so he called out the company
said, “let’s make a deal!
i challenge y’all to make a better meal!
and the loser has to leave town for good after this competition!”
so they arranged a cook*off
a show of art and sk!ll
but steaklas wasn’t bluffing
he was ready for the k!ll!
[chorus]
all hail steaklas!
king of houston steaks!
just come on down to texas
and sample the goodness that he makes!
and if you don’t believe us
that this boy’s got what it takes
there’s never been a heifer
that tastes any better
than the ones ol’ steaklas makes!
[verse 3]
so steaklas walked up to the grill
there was fire in his eyes
he was confident he’d win this thing
he knew it was do or die
them city boys, they laughed at him
said, “no way you can win!”
so steaklas smiled, and tipped his hat
and said, “let the games begin! (yee*haw)”
well, when it was over
as you probably guessed
seemed the issue’d been
put to rest
them corporate steaks was pretty good
but they just could not compete
whether baked or broiled
or grilled or fried
i tell ya there’s not a man alive
that ever stood a chance of topping
the magic of that meat!
well, the companies tried
they had their chance
but looked like steaklas
was keeping his ranch
them corporate suits said
“well, looks like you got lucky today.”
steaklas said, “boy that ain’t luck, it’s sk!ll!
n0body’s gonna beat me on my grill
but y’all are welcome to come in back
next time you’re in the mood to play!”
so next time you’re in texas
and you’re hungry for the best
make sure to come and get the only
steak that stood the test!
[chorus]
all hail steaklas!
king of houston steaks!
just come on down to texas
and sample the goodness that he makes!
and if you don’t believe us
that this boy’s got what it takes
there’s never been a heifer
that tastes any better
than the ones ol’ steaklas makes!
(say it again)
all hail steaklas!
king of houston steaks!
just come on down to texas
and sample the goodness that he makes!
and if you don’t believe us
that this boy’s got what it takes
there’s never been a heifer
that tastes any better
than the ones ol’ steaklas makes!
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