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the weight debate - the boss hog barbarians lyrics

[verse 1: j-zone]
d-mn girl
you used to have a c0ke bottle shape, carbonated as well
cause you was bubbling, s-xy as h-ll
matter of fact, they called you c0ke bottle crystal
now they just call yo -ss gristle
see i made the mistake of getting engaged
and you went and got too comfortable and put on some weight
but five or ten pounds i ain’t trip
tell the truth you look a little more fly when you thick
but all of this cable, french fries and chips
now you weigh more than me and you five foot, six
sh-t, i mean pretzels is fat-free but ho dag
calories still count and b-tch, you ate the whole bag
i tried positive reinforcement, long walks
bought a gym membership so we can get into sports
but it back-fired and since that day
you only use my membership to hit the gym cafe
do a mile hike if you eat a klondike, baby
at first i thought you were pregnant but nah, you just lazy
and a glutton, what a mismatch, now we unique
we look like the number 10 when we walk in the street
side by side, got wide and the s-x drive died
cause when you take your clothes off, you built like a nose guard
ding dongs and coleslaw stacked on the shelf
you could go to south beach and meet atkins himself
you don’t care so you got no chance at all
and you a kit kat away from being rosanne barr
my d-ck used to get all chubby when i see you
went from hot ho to hippo, now i’m ready to leave you
for better or for worse, now all your friends are mad at me
but ya’ll be eating donuts like your fresh out the academy
i’m a boss hog but this is too much hogging
you allergic to jogging, d-mn i think we got a problem

my girl had a threesome: her, ben & jerry’s
she went from halle berry to “refrigerator” perry
when i first met her, brothers stared at her
now she quick to hit the buffet, scared of the stairmaster
don’t need to be a stick figure
nah, never that
but be a hundred pounds within the weight that i met you at
some say for me to take back my ring is wrong
another day, another ding dong

-doorbell-
[j] come in, it’s open
[c] yo
[j] oh sh-t, celph. what up, hog? chillin’?
[c] yeah, what up man?
[j] yo, celph you remember my girlfriend lisa, right? lisa, your remember my homeboy celph?
[l] what’s up?
[c] fo’ sho
[j] yo celph, what the h-ll are you smiling at man, you look like you won a million dollars

[verse 2: celph-t-tled]
no disrespect hog, but i gotta speak my mind
your little feline looking mighty fine
and see i’m digging her size now
big round -ss and big round -ss thighs, wow!
let me set the record straight
i’m the type of guy that like a fat bird who ain’t ashamed of her weight
i ain’t talking nasty slobs or those super-sized b-tches
just a big and thick chick that know she delicious
she know she s-xy in her thong or lingerie
even though the size that she wear ain’t always in the window on display
ain’t a fetish or a fad that i’m stressing
cause i been showing big girls affection since i got my first erection
but uhh, enough of that, let’s stop f-cking around
i been scoping your lady since she been putting on pounds
them sweat pants she got on, must have had since eighteen
cause i can see stretch marks through the stretch parts of the seams
it’s a marvelous thing the way she got a soft belly
wide waist measurements, why hate? it’s evident
that she was b-cup now she double d-ing up
she ain’t your type now zone, homey your lease is up
i just came by to write songs and rap a little
but i can’t focus when i’m watching all that fat jiggle
don’t mind the cellulite not one bit
she not one bit thick but she one b-tch i’d hit
with them thick -ss hips, even gained weight in her lips
without the collagen just them collard greens and i’m promising
that i got a love jones and i can’t help it
can’t take it no more with fat girls i’m selfish
just as long as she stay chubby i stay getting a chubby
and if she ever tries a diet she can find a new hubby
so there you have it, signed, sealed, stamped and delivered
i’m sorry j, but i hope you understand me my n-gga

[j-zone]
uh huh, congratulations it looks like we got a winner
dog you can date her so long as you buy dinner
no longer a lover, nowadays she a eater
i ain’t trippin’ you could f-ck her so long as you feed her
there she is on the couch eating chicken, go and meet her
she gaining by the month so you can dump that two-seater
buy a mac truck, hit her fat b-tt in the back seater
and be sure to keep some haagen dazs stocked in the freezer
good luck

- the boss hog barbarians lyrics

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