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bitch, that ain't luv! - the boss hog barbarians lyrics

“fix you somethin to eat? n-gga please!
you better get back in this bed and handle your business”

[j-zone]
{-belching-} huh?!

woke up quick, at about noon
hard d-ck and i wanna get some breakfast soon
i want some food and some head before the day begins
so i call up jeanette one of my female friends
she was all on my pack like asbestos
washed my b-lls and the b-tch made breakfast (uh-huh)
she had good looks, a b-tt big and soft
but the ho couldn’t cook so i cut the b-tch off
nowadays zone ain’t f-ckin with love
i need a b-tch to cook it up like wolfgang puck
the pancakes sucked so i left her
pick up the phone to call this broke–ss heffer
yeah this b-tch named ethel, i call her big breakfast
because she big as h-ll but she can sho’ cook breakfast
baby look to’ up, d-mn near broke
but her cookin is so good i d-mn near proposed
when i give you a ring girl, that ain’t love
i’m just thinkin ’bout my future, cause i need grub
when we get old, f-ck looks, i want collard greens
wash my dish and my d-ck and i fly the scene
(yo dawg, she got a mustache) man that sh-t is minor
cause she blows like a pro and turn my house into a diner
do i look like mr. belvedere? b-tch i burned cereal
so we ain’t gonna hook up if your cookin ain’t superior
f-ck a pretty wife, zone need to eat
in 20 years she’ll be ugly, i need bon appet-t’
so if you burn the grits i turn my hoof up to y’all
“one minute he’s there then poof he’s gone”

[hook – singing like the jeffersons]
sent that b-tch to the kitchen
made her turn on the grill
if that fish, ain’t fuh-ryin
i’m f-ckin with a happy meal
baby don’t try to kiss me
know i don’t go for that
as long as we livin, it ain’t no lovin
b-tch turn on the oven!

[j-zone]
i need a chick that can cook anything i think of
but to me that ain’t love, b-tch that’s just grub!
“why don’t you get some motherf-ckin work or somethin
stupid–ss b-tch!”

[celph t-tled]
listen, if you ain’t in the kitchen you in the doggy position
you just a pigeon cookin duck, ain’t no love in just stickin
she got a kid i ain’t the dad i be abusin the child
b-tch can cook a po’k chop but she ain’t julia child
round the way puerto rican chick but cook like she cuban
boliche, arroz con pollo, m-f-ngo
ay conio, she actin up, i smacked her with the bisquick box
and b-tch i’m not l!ckin your tw-t
unless it’s smothered in gravy, your baby mother is crazy
suckin my d-ck while she bakin, i put the cream in the pastry
the turkey baster is off limits, i get her off with it
i ain’t captain save-a-batch but save a batch of biscuits
for me and my n-ggas, we eatin good tonight
you washin every dish in sight
your fishsticks and grits are tight, att-tude pitiful
asked for a ring with emeralds i gave you cookbooks by emeril
love to watch you slave over the stove with your d-cup
breasteses, i’ll tell you what breakfast is
it’s my eggs sunny side up, sausage inside her
your mouth get the -ss bounce out of the fryer
i want food when i’m hungry and, head when i’m h-rny
then i’m through with the ho, like zone’s through with accordians
the key to our relationship is rice and peas
the chicken need a little salt and p-ss them spices please
uh-huhhh, oh yeah what, yeah you were sayin?
you need your nails done and want help with the payment?
but i’ll tell you one thing though, i ain’t forkin dough
i’m at your crib starvin b-tch, what the f-ck you think this fork is fo’?

[hook] + more lines
now cook it on uppp! cook it on up
ain’t cooked in a week, what the f-ck
now cook it on uppp! cook it on up
b-tch you don’t love me, what the f-ck?

[zone over hook]
aiyyo hog, check this out man
see i got a new theory on life
it’s called pbp (pbp what’s that?)
yeah, pancakes before p-ssy
knahmsayin i had a threesome the other day
it was me wit’cha momma and mrs. b-tterworth
(oh!) and it was sweet
i gotta eat before i skeet, heh yeah
bon appet-t, b-tch!

“and the b-tch better know how to cook
cause i’m a n-gga that’ll eat some sh-t up” – ant banks

- the boss hog barbarians lyrics

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