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the secret passage - the amazing brando lyrics

(help me… please help me… i am a prisoner in the dungeon of the castle. my name is zelda. the wizard, agahnim, has done something to the other missing girls. now only i remain. agahnim has seized control of the castle and is now trying to open the seven wise men’s seal. i am in the dungeon of the castle. please help me…)

i hear your cries for help
to me, and no one else
what can i do? i’m just an elf (i’m just an elf with a really large p-n-s)
who’s that and where’s he going to? (go to bed!)
i don’t like his freaking att-tude
what the h-ll am i supposed to do? (don‘t make me slap you with my really large p-n-s)
i found a lamp (that’s right, i found it)
i’ll do a dance (i’m so grounded)
i’ll take a chance and i’ll go
where are my pants? (i can’t find them)
where are my pants? (i can’t find them)
where are my pants? i don’t know!

now i’m walking out in the rain
like i’m oran “juice” jones
she keeps talking, am i insane?
she won’t leave me alone

i rip plants from the ground and then i’m k!lling you, son
i got ninety-nine problems and a bush ain’t one (hit me)
man on the run, having too much fun
i got three hearts, you’ll be left with less than one
i got a sword now, watch me build it up, release
this is a secret technique from my family tree
i got the strength of a bear that has the strength of a sheen
i’m lean and i’m mean
i’m a f-cking k!lling machine

- the amazing brando lyrics

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