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simon's quest - the adventures of duane & brando lyrics

mourning before my mom and dad’s plot
when evil appeared and it made my heart stop
seven years ago, i slain this bat
seems now i have to find pieces to bring him back and attack him, cause
i’m not dying from the wounds of the last game
break the curse, save the day
feeling alright, but my back’s in pain
not complaining, grab my whip and claim the fame
the vampire slaughterer, holy waterer
take heed and lock up your daughter-er
line of legends with a clenched fist
last game, let me reminisce
he came to mess around, but then i introduced his face to the ground
and now i’m walkin’ through the town and people are all like:
“ah, i’m a creepy townsperson!”
(whatever, buddy. tell it to your mama.)

simon belmont, punch-throat lugosi
i got new booties, they’re fresh and toasty
i’m calling you out, cause i don’t know the route
why am i resurrecting this clown? (what?)
whipping werewolves (leveling up!)
taking apart skeletons (leveling up!)
th-rn whip is equipped, don’t give me no lip (no)
collecting hearts, it’s never enough, c’mon
it’s getting late, where the church be?
i just fell down and i skinned my knee
take to the lake but something ain’t right
it’s time for the curse of the horrible night

coming through the woods to slice drac’s face again
hip-hopping scary monsters away
running out of time, no time to waste
collect his body parts, then i’ll stake him
quick, the cemetery, holy water the walls
down the stairs, through the halls
to put the pieces of dracula together
this coffin wetter whose rhymes aren’t clever
resurrect and come mess with me, we’ll see

though you have made it through
i put a curse on you
your time is ending
you’ll lie here with me
this is my destiny
i’ll return

jump in, straight crumbling them mummies and phantoms
like, no truce, medusa, unless there’s tropicana orange juice
breaking loose, whipping your tooth in with that
morning star, flipped into flame
don’t need no movie to remember my name
it’s simon belmont, leaving you sh-ll shocked
room service but no, i’m no bellhop
i’m gonna leave you laying dead the floor
time to put my foot through your door, b-tthole!

(aah, what the h-ll?)
i’m gonna get you, b-tch!
you’re going to have to catch me
i told you before not to f-cking test me
you have just made the biggest mistake of your life
is that right?
you will die tonight
look it’s been a long day and i’m wearing down
get your -ss over here, and let’s finish this now
you think you can defeat me? please
you’re weak in the knees, come taste my disease
take this knife to the face!
not my beautiful face!
your days of destruction will soon be erased
let’s face it, you’re falling apart
well, how about this stake to the heart?
i’m going to bite you!
oww! f-cker!
we’re family now
you’re forgetting one thing, count chocula
i just put my stake in you
yeah
noooooo!

- the adventures of duane brando lyrics

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