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you need a thneed - the 88 lyrics

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everybody needs a thneed
a fine thing that all people need
the thneed is good
the thneed is great
and it’s just $3.98

everybody needs a thneed
it’s revolutionary guaranteed!
the thneed is new
the thneed is nice
and did you see that price?

since the glorious dawn of man
there’s never been a thing to do what this thing can
so listen carefully to all the wondrous things a thneed can be

it’s a sock, it’s a suit
boxing glove, parachute
a b-tterfly net, reusable diaper
an exercise belt, a runny nose wiper
a slingshot, a muzzle, a jump rope, a hat
a colorful sweater you put on your cat
nothing else in this world can do that
old or young, tall or short, thin or fat
republican, independent, libertarian or democrat

- the 88 lyrics

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