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life is gangsta - thato saul lyrics

[intro]

[verse 1: thato saul]
yeah
i know you lookin’ down, i got demons right on my shoulders
street politics weighing like a ton and feel like a choker
i know you see the need all for me to get me chauffeur
’cause i get home and fall on the sofa
ke lamegile thata mei boss hoka mpona
bano nthuba fela call ka ghost ke th0m* lo bomb*a
bowa ka kasi mei boss ke shwella lo bloma, ladi laas ko apetsi glass you can’t be a goner
tap in with you after school
you know lil’ conversations had me thinking about what is cool
that had me thinking what is cruel
remember you gave me jewels when i ran around with my crew
getting in trouble
remember i had 35k countin’ it with my mama
all cash got it out the street for that bag it was drama
since ’05 i manoeuvred the streets without any cuddle
then i get home ducking that leather end of a buckle
i said f*ck it, i got no shame
especially n’check*e nou ka gold watch e tswile ka chain
nakwe otlo tima e mpethile thata flop neke short*a
ke shwile mei em a mpotsa “thato lesley o fetsa lo boda”
studio ka tsena ke khotsofatsa le pelo ka kota
w*ng kutlwa ko beya leka polelo ya corner
mei boss pelo eng goisa bohloko ke lucky ka khona
ko kuka byang di award mola wena o steng?
leo theosa lebavlane ka 2 point 5 kamo pitseng
ke hwella ko dimu w*ng kutlwa hore nekitseng
kona mabadi ale a straata wa mpona di nkeditseng
zamo spina ka rap kei putsisa nthwe etlo tanya neng?
neko plaka leka cover
le katjeno are fya ka ghost ba itsi nna ra fa
haona bondlolo wa lahla sight waka thoma lo tswafa
byanong laas jaar mo lekeisheneng gun e bethilwe thata
ke sure pheli e brek*ile record di mpya dino sata
r*i*p di caption, court case kedi saka
mei boss hae sale crime ba banchi aba shwella le zaka
maketsi ko jozi ba mpolela thata
grootman ko botsa fela manyeme ka starta van hono tshwana
ke apile nthwela tsena diepkloof thata keba nyaka
ma outie aka ba botsa lo nkriye kae ko kgalema taba
f*ck afriforum, only smith we acknowledge ke bontle
aka tshabela selo pruwaka wilo kriya kamontle
bona taba e ke sigela wena fela
kamkgo ke bonang nako mo straateng e th0m* fela
kannete career e th0m*i fetola di ana treasure
ase hore enemy tsaka tsamo pheli di mpeyile pressure
nywamenu bo bohle ase selo ene nkanoi prov*a
flopo nou ke ahile nthwe ka bona nka noi lose’a
lore e fihle ke hlokomele motho fela stranger
ho shwella taba e kesae itsing jealous ke danger
mei boss ko hopotsi thata
[verse 2: thato saul]
4am speeding home with some tears in my eyes
i could’ve k!lled for you but you gone become my demise
the hoods calling my phone, homies let me know that you foul
i start to be mia, wasn’t hanging at the lost and found
but that sh*t gets me nervous
what if i’m not there when my homies get shot?
or catch a body on purpose?
don’t even smile anymore feel like my face is stuck
facts i be ducking sh*t in the hood, i’m grateful they never struck
i felt depressed i wasn’t there when my big homie was buried
taught me the street code ever since those lessons i carried
don’t turn in your grave, i walk the route that you really paved
phalli’s way too small for the secrecy that i crave
when it feels like depression
that load down leaves a pretty impression
when i carry this weapon, i wonder if its just regression
my only cap is when i keep it bottled up
feel betrayed because some of my homies kept my opps cuddled up
tears in my eyes as i write this
when it feels like depression, i pray to jesus i fight this
really got g homies cuttin’ their wrist, don’t wanna slice this
we planned to rob this n*gga, now you treating him the nicest
i was 11 years old, i was jumped right on my street
i ran home came back with a blade, had to cut him a piece
probably the only rapper ran from the police
nightmares of dying in a shootout and going out cheap
matter of fact it feels like a dream
my lil’ homie just caught a case for armed robbery
we were on the corner it had me down i believe
his daddy my big homie he just got freed properly
when it feels like depression
i drown my pain in alcohol risking my heart condition
rest in peace to my fallen homies, will i become a rendition?
because the ptsd from the dead bodies i saw don’t do me well
as i sit and feeling my mind give me h*ll, i never fell
[outro: thato saul, riky rick & ]
so i was so angry, angry, super angry
even if you dig up some my music
my music will see the very angry, upset, or depressed, you know?

so my depression took, uhm, you know, took form in being angry at the guys who were doing it

and uh, i always said my first album would be my last album ’cause i didn’t expect to make it past 25
i didn’t expect to make it past 26
()
for me, i wanted to go out young like 2pac ()
i wanted to die young like 2pac
i wanted to die like a kurt cobain
suicidal thoughts is not anything new to me!
’cause i’ve, you know, i’ve suffered from depression, chronic depression, you know, uh
i’ve suffer from, uh you know, a lot of mental anxieties that i don’t like to share too much because it’s like something i want to deal with internally
i never want people to feel like…

…let’s treat this guy differently, he’s sensitive. which i am!
but, my, the way my thing was working out, especially when i wasn’t blowing up, that’s why i always told myself, you know i always say this, you know?
but uh, you know, man i was ah, i was ah, i was on a destructive path bro

- thato saul lyrics

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