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self-defeat - testify-music lyrics

[intro]
what’s good ya’ll
lately this word has been in and out of my head
we all know it, we all face it
but how do we overcome it exactly?

[verse 1]
when i first became a quote on quote rapper
i had a few goals i wanted to achieve
i wanted fame
so i could fly around the world and holla at the pretty dames
but all i ever heard from the haters was
“dude you stink!
you should quit rap”
man i was tired of hearing that!
so i honed my rapping sk!lls, and focused less on the heals
days turned to nights
and the weeks turned to months
but i got tired of waiting so i took my flow to the streets and started k!lling beats!
you can call me ace hood
cause it just got real, no pinocchio!
i’m speedin’ past the compet-tion, like its tokyo
i finally got a flow, i can call my own
but i was still feeling empty, on the low
maybe the haters were right, and i should give up bro
i hear voices in my head mocking me
taunting me
everyone’s laughing at me!
i know i can’t save hip-hop
so stop with all the yip-yap
and let me wallow in my misery, till i drip-drop
lemme turn up another bottle of ciroc, so i can ease away the pain… mane
ya feel me?

[chorus]
can i do this? (x2)
i need to make it past the wall in front of me
but i can’t seem to get free
i hear voices in my head yelling
“you will never make it
you might as well go ahead and face it
you got no sk!lls, man you got no bars
you’re better off trying to fly a car to mars
so take your lame raps and your christian faith home
you don’t got what it takes”
self-defeat!

[verse 2]
i had lost all hope, until some friends took me in
and brought to a man who can take away my sin
“is you for real?”
yes i am, because they convinced me to spend my time serving god
now i finally got my mind right
it still took few years and a few frights to see that i need the kings light, to be complete
so i can get past this self-defeat
but i had the mindset that all i had to do was write christian raps
and i would go to heaven
i think it says that in verse number 7
as the years progressed i learned that it takes more than christian lyrics
i have to actually practice what i preach and stop believing the gimmicks
that try to set limits to my god’s flow
but without the gimmicks in the picture, what’s the point of rapping folk?
s-x, fame, money?
i once dreamed of obtaining it
but all it did was make me love the world
and everything in it
give me a second, i’ll give you a minute
about how earthly things can’t take away, the pain, you be feelin

[chorus]

[verse 3]
drizzy said when the money stops flowin’
and your fans ain’t growin’ it’s time for retirement
i mean retirement sounds good since my lyrics haven’t been that inspiring
i haven’t written a great song in a long time
i mean when i first started up, it seemed so simple
write dope rhymes
say a few inspirational lines
then everybody would flock to my father’s home
but if i want people to come inside, i have to leave my comfort zone
so i stand here wondering if i should listen to my inner self
or listen to the holy ghost inside myself?!
quitting would be the easiest thing to do
then i wouldn’t have to worry about you or you telling me what i can’t do
i want to make a difference on this planet
but there are people out there who take this life for granted and try to save the day
like tarzan when he saved jane from the tree
but i need a real savior, not another wanna be (i need jesus)
not to mention the devil’s trying to get the best of me
i’m sick of all the hate and self-inflicted wounds
i feel like a whitewashed tomb
ready to be scrubbed clean of the filth that is obscene
i gotta get it together
before they put me in a white padded cell
sharon osbourne, you know what i mean (woop)
self-defeat, self-defeat

[outro]
i’ve been lying to myself and listening to the haters all my life
i think it’s time for a change…

- testify music lyrics

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