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the hatchetfield ape-man - team starkid lyrics

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here’s a lil story ‘bout the hatchetfield ape*man
he was born some place in the f*ckin’ woods

he is tall, he is short
he’s good or bad at sports
the point is that n0body knows

all i know about the hatchetfield ape*man
he’s an ape… man

(wooly foot
his name is wooly foot)
what’s that name?
(his name is wooly foot
he’s five foot*ten or he’s four foot*eight)

i remember when i met the hatchetfield ape*man
(you met him?)
yep
(you met him?)
uh huh

we talked politics and how he leaned left and right
(oooh)
ah
(oooh)
ah
he has two left feet but he dances the can*can
(he can?)
yes
(he can?)
are you even listening?

he weighs two dozen tons but he’s rather slight
nothin’?
(…)
okay!

he eats meat, he eats grass
he gets tons of ape ass
honestly why do you care?
if you wanna know more about the hatchetfield ape*man
ask the ape… this is so stupid, he’s not even real… man!

(wooly foot
his name is wooly foot
his name is wooly foot
he’s a real nice guy that could rip off your face!)

wait… what’s that? he can rip off your face?
no he can’t. that’s not real. seriously?
the hatchetfield ape*man cannot rip off your face…

- team starkid lyrics

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