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bertrude the rizzard - tangloft sastii lyrics

[verse 1]
the dmv smp it’s all in shambless
sold wakey wakey and now it’s time to gamble
show up to the casino with a pair of dice
tangloft sastii is popular in my paradise
i have the list of people that i do not like
that’s right, a list of people that i dislike
sastii dissing and a nuclear bomb have two things alike
because when they least expect it, i am going to strike
i’m waiting for a speech to happen, so when word?
tired like a j. cole feature, he’s right, let’s k!ll edward
conway, you gotta quit, n0body good as boom bap
tangloft sastii gonna show up to draco’s house with the strap
ammo from the seven eleven because he likes those kinds
recommend me good jpeg songs, those are hard to find
whole lotta red by carti it’s my nightmare
i’m scary without jumping im not fnaf 4 im not nightmare

[chorus]
rick ross criss cross applesauce
i’m the boss my name is shloss
i’m a boss i play lacrosse
at least i do not play toss

[verse 2]
ken carson in the kitchen and he ate a chair
i saw dantdm fight a lion and he didn’t even care
ksi in a diner but he’s eating with a kite
i am travis scott i crawl at night
ken carson spaghetti lunchly
dantdm punchin’ whales like what the heck
why would you do that those are endangered
i’m ken larsson and i’m not cooking any chairs
ken carson drove a fridge to the moon last week
luckily i stole it because me and my minions stole me moon
ksi boxed a rainbow, he hates g*y
i’m like a fish because i have ten fins
thick of it is worse then any wakey wakey
wakey wakey kinda trash i hope this album is the final
james charles in my dms get out wokey
this isn’t the dmv but i’m your ear’s bible
yup
[verse 3]
it’s time for a freestyle
i go to wendy’s and i say, “get me a number three”
why is there a rapper named idk? you are not in the dmv
i made the dmv, no, i’m dmv 3
kanye west, you better drop bully, and it better not be ai
i’m walter white
diddy got arrested for what?
why would he do that?
i’m gonna hit you with a bat, my favorite animal, is a bat
i am young thug so i say slatt
cus thats what he says in his songs
why is tommyinnit fighting logan paul? aren’t they both blonde and british?
blonde and british
that means they’re both bad. they’re very bad
because they’re british. and blonde?
mostly british. i can’t believe this, why are you british?
i am not british i am finnish
this freestyle is so bad, i am finished

[chorus]
rick ross criss cross applesauce
i’m the boss my name is shloss
i’m a boss i play lacrosse
at least i do not play toss
[verse 4]
from the screen to the ring, to the pen, to the king
where is my crown? this is my glory
there’s always drama when i’m on the phone
look, i believe it when i see it in my heart
break the ceiling because i’m looking for a star
i’m at the stars like kanye wet
if i was ty dolla id do a song with kanye wet
if i was kid cooties do a song with kanye bep
if i had atrocious hair id do a song with kanye wet
curtains, catwalk, pins to the king
where is my crown these are my jewelry
i say drama
see, when i see it in my heart, i believe it
cracking the ceiling, i reached for the stars
from boats to bells, from pens to toothbrushes
where is my crown? this is my treasure
if so, this is a red light
you see, i believe it when i see it
destroy the ceiling when you reach the stars
ksi more like ks why more like ks why
because i hear your song and i say ks why
i do not like your song that much
ksi you’re not even dutch
mr beast more like mrfeast more like mrfeast
you don’t pay your workers just like dhra man mrfeast
logan paul more like logan paul because that’s bad enough
logan paul i do not like you
i’m tired of this
i hate writing this song
shoutout to my mom, reverse shoutout rizzygyat
you eat too much so you are too rizzy fat
he likes to beat me
and when you say you are, you’re not playing the game
i posted his next line on nick’s game
now i have a nickname on my phone
grippy grippy grippy im humble im j cole
grippy grippy grippy im j cole im not as humble as him
grippy grippy im humble im j cole
grippy im j cole im not as humble as him
children are just as rich as the middle class
like the rich
i think rich kids play with candy
they say that the middle is rich and the middle is sad
rich chandy kid more like the rich the kid
more like rich the mid
my brother timmy, i am straighter
i love writing and distorting it with bad translator
but the king arose from the veil;
where my shadow is, there is my glory
all i’m talking about is playing
i believe when i see with my heart
because i went to the roof and touched the metal
i made vultures 1
i made vultures 2
i made vultures 3
i made vultures 14
i made vultures 5
[chorus]
rick ross criss cross applesauce
i’m the boss my name is shloss
i’m a boss i play lacrosse
at least i do not play toss

[verse 5]
me, appledidit and bob marley is the best trio
i ate a pizza from koreo
mama mia pizzeria (get out)
pubicus you made this beat so i do not like you that much right now
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma
i’m 86
i ate a pizza from korea
mama mia pizzeria (get out)
i’m driving to the wakey studio like travis scott
travcis scott i’m not mario im drunk
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma (get out)
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma
i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma, i’m a grandma
i’m 86

[verse 6]
pubicus you’re my enemy for making this beat so long
get ready i’m gonna diss you
not now but like at some point
i hate you i hate you
pubicus i hjate this song
this isnt fun yo write
i hate thsi song so much
this song is worse then watch he party die
kodak blakvc nle choppa kodak blakvc
kodak blakvc kodak blakvc kodak blakvc
kevin heart kevin heart kevin heart
lil jon wain lil jon wain lil jon wain
usher usher usher r kelly
p diddy ty dollla ty dollar ty dollar
nba young boy nba young boy play boi young boy
you know what time it is?

[verse 7]
you know what time it is?
5:30, the car missin
is this what you call distance?
i’m in a prison, but i ain’t prison
i’m tangloft sastii, i’m in wakey wakey eggs and bakey
and i still got some lyrics reft
i did not write all of that just to have it be for nothing
i’m making the beat longer then it is right now, i wrote all of that before, i’m not making it go to waste, i’m putting it all in the song, i’m not deleting any lyrics
i stayed up until three in the morning writing all of that
and then this beat’s too short, even though it’s nine minutes
so i’m extending the beat, and i’m gonna sing the rest of the lyrics

[chorus]
rick ross criss cross applesauce
i’m the boss my name is shloss
i’m a boss i play lacrosse
at least i do not play toss

[verse 8]
bertrude the wizard raccoon went back in time one night
he was an alcoholic, hated it so he went back in time
but bertrude hit the dial too hard and went back way too far
ended up face*to*face with a dinosaur in a car
fought a t*rex with a frying pan, smacked it in the eye
shouted “gleep glorp” at the sky as a hawk tuah flew by
mrbeast showed up in a sp*ceship, “bertrude, hop in fast”
then destroy lonely crashed the party with a quantingerous blast
destroying the lonely yelled at bertrude
all like “you gotta make a record label”
mrbeast needed some rappers that day, so bert’ did it
made his ears bleed, that’s when he knew that he just hit it
they flew back to the future, but first they took out squirrels
bertrude promised to drop beats, better than destroy’s pearls
ken larsson called me up, said, “i just called myself”
“i am ken larsson tangloft sastii”
so bertrude started wakey wakey eggs and bakey on a dime
he said he knew some rappers and sometimes they rhyme
he’s got that music industry clout, now he’s flyin’ high
dropped a song so wild even dinosaurs started to cry
uncle called again, said “the hawk tuah’s here to stay”
bertrude hung up the phone, and went to make another play
with a frying pan in hand, and ken larsson on the mic
they dropped a single so fire it made the whole world strike
artistic autistic an artisdstic dinosaur
i have a dino sword that can k!ll dinosaurs
this song make less sense then a sam moe lester freestyle
i make batman hard like the lego movie character wild style
bertrude’s sober now, no more time travel to escape
just a raccoon with rizz, rizzy raccoon man
and in the background, squirrels still plot their revenge
but i’m tangloft sastii and this is squirrel season

[outro]
also, i lied about bertrude being sober. he’s still a functioning alcoholic

- tangloft sastii lyrics

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