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fictional aisle - tall boy special lyrics

[intro]
forget the bread section
skip the deli too
walk right past that produce cr*p
and those fresh made du*jour soups
’cause there’s aisle in the grocery store
that new one by the curves for kids
ditch your whole foods totes and your costco cards
’cause you’re gonna wanna see what this is

[chorus]
y’all know what they got?
they got a, a fictional aisle (fictional aisle!)
filled with fictional food (fictional food!)
you think to yourself this can’t be real
hey sister, you’re speaking the truth
it’s a, a fictional aisle (it’s a fictional aisle!)
filled with fictional stuff (they got fictional stuff!)
you say the food can’t be fake if the fake food’s real
hey brother, you’re thinkin’ too much

[post*chorus]
let’s go take a tour of the aisle, shall we?
they got…
loud bologna! dog eggs!
and a jar of celery farts!
bicycle meat! swamp b*tter!
and a hummingbird that’s bigger than you!
chocolate photographs! reverse watermelon!
roast beef that zaps you when you touch it!
secret peanuts! divorced carrots!
the stuff inside of balloons!
the stuff inside of balloons!
[chorus]
they got a, a fictional aisle! (fictional aisle!)
filled with fictional food (fictional food!)
a can of creamed cans and a panicked yam
a box of rice, but the box is a goose (the goose is alive!)
it’s a, a fictional aisle (don’t eat the goose!)
filled with fictional foods (recycle the goose!)
a kilometer of fruit by the foot
and some noodles made out of the moon

[bridge]
you’ve reached the end of the aisle, and you take a look back
to your surprise, the aisle now says “factual items”
reason being you saw the aisle, and seeing is believing
but how could it have been fictional beforehand
when we the narrators claimed to have seen it in the first place?
simple, we aren’t real
well, we weren’t, until you saw us! (we’re not real, we’re not real)
and now we are real, all because of you (we’re not real, we’re not real)
so from the bottoms of our hearts
thank you for making us real!

[chorus]
it’s the factual aisle (factual aisle!)
now we’re actual dudes (tall boy special!)
on us, buy whatever you want
we exist now because of you
it’s a, a factual song (factual song!)
this is the actual truth (we wrote it ourself!)
by pressing play you gave us life today
so why don’t we name off more foods?
[outro]
roasted garbage! well*done popsicles!
and a cake but it’s over a fence!
corn dog flipflops! invisible pancakes!
a burger king drink from wendy’s!
turtle in a cottage! super heavy pickles!
and a pile of mayo on a skateboard!

- tall boy special lyrics

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