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watch as i perform my own tracheotomy - talkshow boy lyrics

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i pay attention to tv
ashley olsen is my enemy
i pay attention to tv
taylor hanson is my enemy
get a few more beers in me and i뭗 sleep with half the people in this room
i give them stds and infect their lives with creepy*crawlies

down, down, down
your thalidomide arms weren’t designed to hug me
you were made to love me like you do*do*do*do*do
down, down, down
your thalidomide arms weren’t designed to hug me
you were made to love me like you do*do*do*do*do

i pay attention to the radio, yeah
i l!ck buzzwords off talkback radio
i pay attention to the gameshow q&a
and crosswords to expand my vocabulary
can i order you a vodka lime
and do you have the time to fill my mouth with you?
i’ve been noticing the tiniest things
i’m the #1 sucker for a girl who bites her lip

and i hear wedding chimes in crystal chapels
cake, caviar, coat*tailed
i walk down the aisle with you and we kiss like a couple for the congregation
and the paedophile priest at the altar says
adrian, do*do*do*do*do*do
do you take this girl to be yr wife?
h*ll yes, vice versa, likewise
do you take this girl to be yr wife?
h*ll yeah, vice versa, likewise
do you take this girl to be yr wife?
her thalidomide arms are lifelike

i met a girl at a club, she was pouring out her love
i wanted to kiss her, i was too shy, she gave me the finger
and we played noughts & crosses
and scissors*paper*rock and i said

watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
and when you’re working later if you wanna telemarket me
and yes i’d like a drink but if i drank it i뭗 be vomiting
and yes i’d like to kiss you but you gotta get on top of me
and show me that you wanna kiss me back and never run away
until we both have headaches and yr bedroom seems the safest place
i wanna make out on yr sheepskin rug
let my fingers do the talking
and i talk until my tongue is tied up
i talk until my tongue is tied up
i talk until my tongue is tied up
i talk until my tongue is tied up
i talk until my tongue is tied up*up*up*up*up
and i said

watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy
watch as i perform my own tracheotomy

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