nf - happy (remade) feat. sophie pecora - tabbiesmanz lyrics
dear god, please
hear me out, i know it’s been a couple years
since i’ve reached
out and said h*llo, i bet you’re wondering
why i keep
obsessing on and stressin’ all the little things
when i should be
living life and soaking up the memories
i know i have i have been selfish
no excuse to give you, it’s true
hanging by a thread’s how i live
i don’t know why, but i feel more comfortable
livin’ in my agony
watchin’ my self*esteem
go up in flames, acting like i don’t
care what anyone else thinks
when i know truthfully
that that’s the furthest thing from how i
feel, but i’m too proud to open up and ask ya
to pick me up and pull me out this hole i’m trapped in
the truth is i need help, but i just can’t imagine
who i’d be if i was happy
yeah, been this way so long
it feels like somethin’s off when i’m not depressed
i got some issues that i won’t address
i got some baggage i ain’t opened yet
i got some demons i should put to rest
i got some traumas that i can’t forget
i got some phone calls i been avoidin’
some family members i don’t really connect with
some things i said i wish i woulda not let slip
hurtful words that never shoulda left my lips
some bridges burned i’m not ready to rebuild yet
some insecurities i haven’t dealt with, yes
i’ll be the first to admit that i’m a lonely soul
and the last to admit i need a hand to hold
losin’ hope, headed down a dangerous road
strange, i know, but i feel most at home when i’m
livin’ in my agony
watchin’ my self*esteem
go up in flames, acting like i don’t
care what anyone else thinks
when i know truthfully
that that’s the furthest thing from how i
feel, but i’m too proud to open up and ask ya
to pick me up and pull me out this hole i’m trapped in
the truth is i need help, but i just can’t imagine
who i’d be if i was happy
i wonder when i learned it’s not safe
to talk about my feelings and make
somebody bad for my sake
it’s selfish
that’s what i heard from a young age
crying was always a mistake
now i haven’t shed a single tear since the first grade
is that sad?
nah it’s just what i’m used to
never wanted you to feel the pain that felt too
thought i was being considerate but it felt through
when i went so many years trapped in the same loops
and it’s hard to escape that now
i’m more comportable with depressed and drowning in my regrets
than wearing a big ol’ smile
joy doesn’t last, struggle with getting attached
then i’m back down
i don’t always wanna hide my fears away
when i act like that i get more afraid
sharing all the struggles in this life i face
means that we won’t feel so alone today when i’m
livin’ in my agony
watchin’ my self*esteem
go up in flames, acting like i don’t
care what anyone else thinks
when i know truthfully
that that’s the furthest thing from how i
feel, but i’m too proud to open up and ask ya
to pick me up and pull me out this hole i’m trapped in
the truth is i need help, but i just can’t imagine
who i’d be if i was happy
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