the art of avoiding help - szama lyrics
[verse 1]
i got chains around my neck, promises stuck in my t**th
you can find me on my own, but you can’t find me on my knees
and my life multidirectional so please don’t intervene
when my emotions get too technical, i put myself to sleep
and i might have another episode, but not finish the season
i got lies in my peripheral, but i could never see them
it’s so hard for me to let it go, i’m stuck inside a feeling
these narcotics, they my medical and i can’t ever leave them
[bridge]
(szama)
it gets evеn worse in the evеning
3pm, after school, f*cking screaming
stand up, stand up
you wouldn’t wanna be me
hands up, hands—
paint my head all on the ceiling
[chorus]
man up, man up
concentrate on breathing
fan out, fan out
searching for a meaning
let down, let down
confiscate my being
help out, h*llbound
strip me of my feelings
man up, man up
concentrate on breathing
fan out, fan out
searching for a meaning
let down, let down
confiscate my being
help out, h*llbound
strip me of my feelings
[verse 2]
way too good at cutting ties
i got a brand new look in my eye
i got a brand new cut on my thigh
ask how i’m doing, i’ll say that i’m fine
ask how i’m moving, i’m staying inside
ask how i do it, just put in the time
ask why i do it, i’m stupid and high
this sh*t is congruent, i never switch sides (huh)
i cannot put up a fight (huh)
thoughts in my head, i delete ’em (huh)
i could never ask for help
why the f*ck do you think that i need it? (huh)
i could never see the light
i take a moment and freeze it
i cannot comprehend life
why the f*ck would i ever perceive it? (huh)
i can’t even describe it
complicated nomenclature
lexapro, psilocybin
fentanyl get my life in shape
let’s shake it up
not much more time ‘fore i’m waking up
put on a smile, is it fake enough?
i’m opening up, is it safe enough?
[bridge]
thoughts and feelings not receding, never could release it
feel like rpg, got low hp, i can’t defeat it
out of energy, hope thc give me a reason
throw my life into the fire, jump in after, could not leave it
[verse 3]
i cannot lie to myself but i wish i could (huh)
i’m dodging the question, i’m ducking the next one, bury my face in my hood (huh)
i got nails in my foot, i can’t move, i can’t breathe
i had screws in my eyes, but that’s the old me, i can see now
i can see now, psychedelics make me senile
and if you got advice, i don’t wanna hear it, you can shove it
they like, “szama, how you live like this, the secret is i love it”
i can’t run forever but i’ll d*mn well try, i’ll stay above it
[chorus]
man up, man up
concentrate on breathing
fan out, fan out
searching for a meaning
let down, let down
confiscate my being
help out, h*llbound
strip me of my feelings
man up, man up
concentrate on breathing
fan out, fan out
searching for a meaning
let down, let down
confiscate my being
help out, h*llbound
strip me of my feelings
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