it really pissed me off when you killed yourself - swazy* lyrics
i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating ain’t my strong suit i guess that im sorry
man f*ck that sh*t i sent so many d*mn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw’em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth
i ain’t gon lie like i dont miss you for a single second
but you ain’t think before the knots to type a single message
hypocrisy i know im spitting yes i need a lesson
but since your gonе man who my teacher hope you see mе stressing
thinking about you every second yea thats what you wanted
i shouldve felt the narcissism from the first few punches
do not talk family with me i f*cking hate the subject
what if i k!lled myself to figure out if i meant something
you’d of told me i meant nothing
i used to say you were the best mother
and to this day i still try not to think much less of you
but its not easy with you not here telling me to run away
from what im heading towards
i used to think i was the one that burnt the bridge of course
but its in my head now super clear how you were wielding torches
how you built me up and knocked me down made me feel less important
how you tied that noose around your neck before giving me notice
now it would only take 2 seconds just to hit me up
i’d probably respond too late but you dont give a f*ck
sometimes i wish i was the one that found you hanging up
i keep calling and hanging up
i wish i had another chance to say i love you
cuz at this point inside my head im like f*ck you
thought i could trust you
never been more wrong in my life i wish it wasn’t true
but i still breakdown wishing that it wasn’t you
in my head i been so alone my thoughts are skewed
can’t deny i been in this pain for at least 2
long years i don’t think they’re ending soon
might as well put the gun to my head
and pull the trigger i might get to see you
my dad keep telling me im wrong
he probably right but i don’t know if i wanna be here long
yea i wish you could hear this i know it would be your favorite song
or maybe thats just my ego speaking you know where i get it from
ask me what i do it for?
yea it used to be you but now i don’t really know anymore
i could tell you the truth but i know your not there to hear it no more
and if you were here you wouldn’t wanna hear it it would bring you
to the floor, i dont really care no more
you was finna leave me anyway
through me off the cliff as a featherweight
don’t act like it ain’t take nothing
i dont went through it in a heavy way
feeling naked running through the heavy rain
what the f*ck was going on with my brain
they wonder why i made headaches sh*t
i was really truly going insane
i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating ain’t my strong suit i guess that im sorry
man f*ck that sh*t i sent so many d*mn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw’em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth
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