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i hope you feel alone i - sutaijian lyrics

they told me i deserve the world, but i don’t want it
if i can’t have you
i could get with anybody
but i still want you
they taught me i should love my neighbour like i love myself
if that was the case then i’d be out here
hating on everybody
it seems like the whole worlds fond of me
but they wouldn’t love who i really am
the only thing that bothers me is right there in the mirror
i will never give myself an ounce of credit
im calling him out, taijian youre subhuman
somebody punch him in his face till his nose bleed
somebody send blows to his head till he dead
if you said you did it, i done blew it again
blew you off again
but you’re back here after a while off, i’m happy to see you
i don’t know how i could ever talk to you, but i miss you
i miss having someone to groom myself up for
to dress up for, to impress

my little cousin just peered over my phone, asked me who you was
i told her you were her big sister, and i’d bring her over to meet her sometime
i made her sketch your name in her leapfrog
i was leaping bounds and miles out of my league but it never felt wrong once
we threw stones into the river hoping on something better
i wanted to bring someone as beautiful as you home sometime, or someone like you
its so bittersweet
i hope you feel alone
front on people that said i’d never get what i wanted
they out in the stands while i’m on these stages
there’s a thousand yous, and at least one of them could work with the mess i am
but i want you, and only you
cause i need broke, or broken girls
but youre actually not and that’s the case
youll always be one up on me because youre the one miss perfect
i watched you and your band and you sound pitch perfect
wondering if the words in your songs meant something about us
but that was just my hormones talking
talking trash to my own head

i’m everything i say i’m not
and i’m nothing that i say i am
so
sometimes i hope you feel alone enough
sometimes. i hope you feel alone
one time too many, i lost count
to look back, and see me in this corner
to come over, and ask me if this tables free or not?
you said, can i borrow this spare chair?

it’s been for a long time, but my heart too
won’t go cold too soon
you could tend to my wounded heart
cause sometimes it hopes you feel alone
and i’m not proud of it
one bit
the same way i heard someone i grew up with on the radio
and pray he done fell off
i will be a radio star
or you mans
i don’t give myself credit
i’m sure i’ll never make it
they told me i’d fail, that’s probably why i fell flat on my face
thats how it always is
but you’ve been my one and only solace
through all of this
they told me i’d fall
you should tell the truth to my face too
stop forcing yourself to be courteous
say no to me
there’s no gods court to judge you in, at least not on earth

down here they pass the ball through your legs
and make you trip down
they’d do anything to score a point on their side
no one cares about you as much as you do
and if you don’t yourself then you’re done for

but, they wouldn’t believe my truth and that’s what made me
made me nothing to vouch for
i regret taking that approach
i really took that approach
i regret taking it every day
i saw you by the window sill
i was down and desperate
i remember when you were on the same level as me but now you’re high up there
at levels i know i’ll never get to
somewhere i lost all control
i walk around like nothings going wrong
but my heart has me weak as h*ll
i’m staring into your eyes
i shouldve asked you out a long time ago
back when my reputation was right
everything was in the right place
it shouldve been you and i
not you and him
beat ii

you mean everything to me but i know you don’t feel the same
i mean nothing to you
itd be easy to forget about me
but i’d never forget you

im a stranger
im just another stranger
i know you inside out though, already
i got your childhood photos printed out for the celly
but you don’t know me one bit
this insane one*way love
or maybe i love who i think you are
i said your name in my slumber
but i can’t even see you lucid
youre not just everything ive dreamed of
youre everything i dream of
maybe do me a favor and never come around here again
to this ghost town that that i call a mindsp*ce

i know love doesn’t stay around forever
and that the love you get from everybody won’t stick around forever
but i know i’ll be here
where else do i go
my days are empty
i ain’t got no real home
and my house ain’t worth staying around
so i’ll come around to this one place
you couldve made that house a home
just so i can get a glimpse of you
and you know, i hope you feel alone
if i knew your name i could find more out about you
or if i remembered it
it’s the digital age
but im of age now

and i couldn’t pursue you head*on
because i’m deathly afraid of
your first*sight judgement, and
i’m not afraid of dying as much
as im afraid of rejection from you cause i look all different
from the man you have envisioned in your dreams

all the nights, i spend dreaming of you
and then i wake up
and its not beside you
i go places, and i knew they’d be better with you
i see the sunrise, and i know you’d make more beautiful than it is

the thought of you makes things that seem to be mundane beautiful
that’s how beautiful you are

that’s why i come here every day
i hope to see you alone sometime, but you won’t budge
not just out of circumstance
i want the coins
my wallet won’t fold
not cause of the notes but the coins
they threw it into the guitar case
heres some new flowers for your flower vase
you come here with someone new every day
it’s clear you mean a lot to everybody
i can’t even afford a cup at the d*mn place

but look girl, i busk out here all night like i own the d*mn place
and i sing every one of my songs in dedication to you
and you swing along to the melodies, and you clap for me
but you don’t know that i sing for you
you don’t my know my soul yearns for you
and that ive learned yours inside out already

i come here for you
every midnight i sin for you
to the thought of you
i get off to the thought of you being alone for once
i hope you come here everyday
i took a shot of you when you looked the other way
rather, creepshot, but it felt so wrong
just so i can stare at your face for the rest of my days
but i couldn’t screw that face in my head
my mind ain’t strong enough to draw pictures of you
so the pictures i drew ain’t on that
but there’s no strings attached
to you that is, at least in the picture

i hope you feel alone sometimes
caught up with them lonesome vibes
i hope you feel alone sometimes
just so much to call me up
ask me if this tables free or not

beat iii

i might end up getting jumped over you someday
i’m a godforsaken stalker
nothing more
nothing less, when it comes to being alarming
and im obsessed
and i’m trying to find a way out
that doesn’t involve
coming clean to you myself
im afraid of disappointment

on a break from your every shift
you work the professional sector late nights
that’s where you get the bands to buy them designer clothes on you
i don’t even care if there’s skeletons right behind them in your closet
or if it reeks of death
i made a world around your face in my head, and i want to live in it
okay, i found your account
i ain’t surprised
posting yourself at luxury resorts
trying recipes for the h*ll of it
while i’m out here dumpster diving fast food restaurants

can i dig into your meal if i bring my own spoon
you could bring the turkey home
but even if you were in some rags you’d be beautiful
you want to live with me and wear some d*mn rags
balenciaga fits

i fell back in life while you was hustling
and now i regret it
but if you showed me some love
did me a favor
you could be my ticket to redemption
is it unsettling to know someone dreams of you
is it flattering to think that you single*handedly keep someone alive
and that you could someone save someone’s life
if you really tried

young stygian was a wreck but there was nothing yall could do about it
maybe you couldve done something about it
but you didn’t, and that’s why i’m
still stuck in this mess, in my primetime
and i been laying low, like i got a bounty on my head
and i been stuck inside of it like i’m on house arrest

and when you look out in distress, telling yourself you can’t be loved
convincing yourself you won’t ever look good enough
there’s someone out there that loves you more than anyone
loves you for your flaws
look in the mirror
youre alone in the mirror though
want me kissing on your neck?

young stygian was a wreck but there was nothing yall could do about it
maybe you couldve done something about it
but you didn’t, and that’s why im yeah
still stuck in this mess, in my primetime yeah
and i know i’ll be 50 and i’ll still be going
if god forbid, i’ll be 50, and ill still be pouring

you go home with someone new every night
that doesn’t make me cease my pursuit of you, because oh well
the only other women that talk to me work in that business
and you could never be impure, no matter how much you try
your smile can was any sin away
and i came back to prayer even though i lost my way to god
i might’ve quit church but i’d join one in your name

i love you, can’t you see
every night i get off to you
and every morning i boil my tea leaves and i wish i could wake you up. with some breakfast and bed
it’s probably whereaboutism but i haven’t seen someone like you around here
and when i do
i make sure to follow in they trails too
but they travel in packs

and then they travel back to the place i wish i could move to
that’s where they’re all from
where do i get the money
throw myself overboard and try my best but i’ll sink halfway through the ocean
in the trench
just jetsam
while you fly back home after your business trip
you’re a digital nomad
you’ve got the whole catalogue of men on your list
and you’re at the place with the least good*looking ones
and i’m on the bottom of the list
you ain’t getting with a kling
h*ll, i thought you was one of them
you aren’t one girl, you’re a symbol for a whole lot of them
i want your whole lot then
play lotto with em
man i hope you feel alone
im pouring out the patron
i hope you feel alone

part iv

i hope you fall down from your grace
from your glory from the heights
or you spin down of vertigo

and i reach out my hands like a fairy tale love story
take you to the same hospital you came out of
put a hot towel on your head and told you i was your savior
fall in love with your hearts captor, it’s stockholm syndrome
i hope you feel alone
sometimes, nevermind
its everytime
treating you right, the way you’d love to be treated

so you know me now?
but i try to make a conversation with you as a stranger every now and then
if i told you the truth you wouldn’t love me for it
you’d be afraid of me
i don’t blame you one bit

i loved her so much but shed never know
that’s something thatll die with me
unless you die with me, mirage, i hope you feel alone

i’d be greeting you with a little kiss on your forehead
and id thank you for coming into my life
ive always sounded like i was guilt tripping you
but i’ll never give up my pursuit
even if rejections the answer
cause i’m running out of time on everything
the lines rising
the strands still here are greying
i gotta find my soulmate before it’s all over

i couldn’t ever take no for an answer, my whole life
thats what made me
made me nothing, really
thats why i still hope on my leather dreams
and making leather dreams
that statement got a veneer of sadness now we’re
en route to the terminal instead
i’m putting this out to the best of my ability
i could do so much more with music with the right resources
i hope i had your resources

i hope you feel alone
just as alone as i am
just to see how it is
fill yourself in my shoes
i’m no hypocrite when it comes to everyone else you want
no double standards
but you know
the other girls only want me when i pull some cash out
and it’s too late for that
im trying to make something out of my life so i can have something to give you
i told you once, i’ll tell you twice, i’m not a nice person, don’t let me convince you i am

relentless pursuit
for a lost cause
that’s why sometimes
i hope you feel alone
that’s why i hope you feel alone sometimes
just so much to call me back
just so much to call me on the phone, ask me if
my hearts free or not

you don’t see nothing in me
and that ain’t your fault at all
its mine and gods
for doing me just so wrong
every single time you fell in love with somebody
i’ve always prayed on you falling out
it’s been years at this point, but i couldn’t pass my point

you once knew who i was but you don’t really know me anymore
who does? i burrowed myself in the complex
i knew you in a past life
when the textile was woven right
somewhere where our stars aligned

so let me tell you:
i might not be picture*perfect in this particular plane of existence
but we’re still meant to be together
it’s that way for me but it definitely ain’t that way for you
if things ain’t your going your way
they aren’t going mine either
im wired to your very existence
are you the boon or bane of mine
lets find out
let me find out for once
what do you feel like?

i fell back past your level, and you got through
and then you left me behind in this mess
but i’ve always been waiting
the only reason i ever lived on for the last few years was for you
and i’m still waiting
and ill be waiting

i found out you were back in town and i couldn’t believe it
i still stare at your timeline endlessly
but i make sure i don’t leave a like on any one of the posts
that’ll make you go ghost on me, out of fear
and you deserve your privacy, but i guess ive violated your soul
more times i wish i would’ve
i don’t mean to hurt you, girl i just really love you
if i did, i’d hurt you a long time ago
i just hope you feel alone

because you keep nagging me subconsciously
you get on my d*mn nerves
won’t you get off of them
like i get off to you
i hope you feel alone

- sutaijian lyrics

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