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quiet - suffocate for fuck sake lyrics

i do not want to live like this… i do not want to live like this, my destiny must be something else. i have aways had a pretty strong will and inner voice but i did not know… i have directed it the wrong way. it has become a mess, and i lost myself. then i suddenly met a healthy person, a guy, when i was 29 years old and my whole life changed completely. i did not understand anything… god what is happening? from going up and down, i had social phobia, i was shy of people, i was scared to meet new people, i always had to drink when i mеt someone… but then i mеt him. he was such a nice human being, as calm and secure as a rock, but then i started to panic. when it all calmed down i started to panic and i thought, “what is this? can i never feel good? ”. but i didn‘t realize that it would catch up with me, it simply became too calm and my body reacted to it, sending me into another really hard time… it was like i was completely thrown down. i was depressed at the beginning of our relationship, there were huge ups and downs. i had dips for several weeks when i just laid down and felt no happiness or nothing and people said “you should be so grateful, you have such a good guy” but i was completely devastated. completely destroyed as a human being, and i had never really been allowed to rest. not rest but just chaos and trauma… my whole life… until i met him. so it was probably my process that started there

when all is quiet
old wounds heal
it cannot be undone
all nightmares end

the process starts
a way back
retake a stolen life
born again

- suffocate for fuck sake lyrics

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