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the mushroom song - steve savitzky lyrics

[verse 1]
now everybody knows that engineers are lazy slobs
they dress in dirty t-shirts and complain about their jobs
but management has found a way to make them toe the mark:
you feed them bits of bullsh-t, and you keep them in the dark!
because they’re
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door
[verse 2]
an engineer told his manager, “this project is the pits
a stinking crock of horse manure that gives me nausious fits,”
the manager went to his boss and p-ssed the word along
“it’s a pot of fertilizer and its smell is awfully strong.”
it comes from…
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door
[verse 3]
the word it traveled quickly ’til it reached the ceo
the vp told him gladly “this is stuff that makes things grow
it’s packaged in ceramic and it’s very strong indeed;
i think that you’ll agree that it’s exactly what we need.”
it’s made with…
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door
[verse 4]
the ceo went to the board and said to them, “you know
this substance has the power to make our business grow!”
they had the news that evening on the business tv shows:
“the company is growing and it’s smelling like a rose!”
they’re growing…
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door
[verse 5]
the engineer he heard the news and muttered, “it’s a crime
how other guys get all the nifty projects all the time
we have a real disaster here that just won’t go away
’cause noone ever listens to a single word we say!
because we’re…
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door

we all are…
[chorus]
mushrooms, mushrooms, keep them in the dark
mushrooms, mushrooms, i heard the boss remark
you feed them bits of bullsh-t til they can’t take any more
when they stick their heads up cut them off and
ship them out the door

- steve savitzky lyrics

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