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there's always a woman - stephen sondheim lyrics

[cora:]
cherchez la femme

there’s always a woman
to spoil the illusion
the rotten banana
that ruins the bunch
there’s always a woman
who causes confusion
there’s nothing as low as a woman

we must lunch

[fay:]
love to

[cora:]
noonish?

[fay:]
tomorrow

[cora:]
today

[fay:]
my place?
[cora:]
mine

[fay:]
there’s always a woman
the one disappointment
the note that goes sour
and gums up the tune
the ant at the picnic
the fly in the ointment
there’s nothing so slow as a woman

ring me soon!

[cora:]
love to

[fay:]
‘voir

[cora:]
leaving?

[fay:]
i thought…
[cora:]
i know

[fay:]
i tried

[both:]
it’s always a woman
the counterfeit check

[fay:]
the snake in the woodpile

[cora:]
the pain in the neck

[both:]
the sand in the oyster
that isn’t a pearl
there’s nothing as low as a woman…
darling girl

[cora:]
pet!

[fay:]
lamb!
[cora:]
dove!

[fay:]
fish

[cora:]
the run in the stocking
the snag in the zipper
the weather in london
the water in france
it’s always a woman
it’s jacqueline the ripper
there’s nothing as low as a woman

shall we dance?

[fay:]
waltz?

[cora:]
rhumba?

[fay:]
cancan?

[cora:]
tango?

[fay:]
schottische?

[cora:]
gavotte?

[fay:]
cha*cha?

[cora:]
tap?

[fay:]
bolero?

[cora:]
polka?

[fay:]
bridge?

[cora:]
two hearts

[fay:]
three clubs

[cora:]
i pass

[fay:]
there’s always a woman
a crimp in the writing
the hole in the sidewalk
the gum on the shoe
she almost looks human*
it must be the lighting
whatever it is, it’s a woman

how are you?

[cora:]
fine

[fay:]
pity

[both:]
it’s always a woman

[fay:]
the hand in the hill

[cora:]
the five dollar diamond

[fay:]
the three*dollar bill

[both:]
a g*nius for trickery
that’s second to none
there’s nothing as low as a woman
isn’t this fun?

[cora:]
lovely

[fay:]
charming

[cora:]
delicious

[fay:]
stunning

[cora:]
fabulous

[fay:]
gorgeous

[both:]
exquisite

[cora, fay:]
(alternately)
a knife would be perfect*
a gun would be perfect*
it’s quick and it’s quiet
at least i could try it
i hear they do wonders
and you can do wonders
with poisonous gas
with silvers of glass
there’s always the quarry*
there’s always curare*
she’d never be found
i have some around
a noose is efficient*
bamboo is efficient*
she won’t make a sound
as long as it’s ground
whatever will do it
whatever will do it
if anything will
if anything will

[both:]
there’s nothing as low as a woman

[cora:]
sneak

[fay:]
thief

[cora:]
cheat

[fay:]
crook

[cora:]
frump

[fay:]
fake

[cora:]
bore

[fay:]
bag

[cora:]
leech

[fay:]
crone

[cora:]
witch

[fay:]
ghoul

[both:]
police!
shoot to k!ll!

- stephen sondheim lyrics

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